RULING!!

rules is rules.
i asked kayla what we should make for dinner,
and she scoffed, for real, right at me.
mmhmm.
a scoff is an awfully hard style when it's genuine.
then, she was all like: 'ummmm, isn't it tuesday?!'
...as if somehow, i'd become a completely temporally-challenged what-day-is-it-type A*-hole.
and to be fair, she had a point.
if you're not sure of something specific for supper,
in an essential but non-alliterative capacity,
then the obvious default is taco mutha-lickin' tuesday.
because that's the thing you DO on tuesday.
duh.
of course, i had ideas about how to go about it,
which were promptly derailed by special requests for both black beans,
and cauliflower rice.
so,
the direction of my actions was altered, and the path that our preparations took
was a sideways enfilade of expert excellence that i didn't anticipate,
but absolutely took full and capital advantage of.
word up.
now check the dang teleport already, why don'tcha?

TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!!!!
guys!
i got textures poppin' OFF over there!
also,
if you aren't making lime wedges for upgrading from 1-10 to eleven?
you might be a A*-hole.
that's an honest assessment, man.
we start with toasted soft flour tortillas, every time.
yes.
those crispy-crap self-destructive corn jauns are for poor people,
and bad people with limited palates.
real recognize real,
and soft flour flaps hold the most taco in their interior,
and are therefore superior, which in turn keeps it real to the max.
too much really and truly is the honest-to-goodness right amount.
don't settle for a diminished capacity within your vessel, homeboy.
ok.
but, what about the fillings?
-
well,
there's a couple cups of chiffonade-style kale, and ribbon-shredded purple cabbage,
with a handful of cilantro, fresh cracked pink salt, and fresh lime juice,
for a base of vibrant and fragrant and crisp slaw.
that's dope.
-
then, there's thinly-sliced cukes, and rainbow tomatoes, and scallion sprankles.
that covers all the freshie-fresca end of the spectrum.
-
and these days, the quick-mixed pickled veggies are the TRUTH.
and the truth is something we cannot, and will not escape from.
that's enough cider vinegar to cover half a roughly-chopped onion;
two large sliced radishes;
most of a medium-sized carrot (crabtree ate the extremities of tip and top);
a baby bell pepper;
half a jalapeno;
and three cloves of garlic...
y'just add half a teaspoon of salt, a teaspooon or two of sugar, and boil it until
the 'penos turn a grosser shade of green-o,
and that's how you know it's done.
let it cool, and very liberally apply the results to everything in sight.
they're too damned tasty not to overindulge in.
as a matter of fact, i make slightly more each and every time i make them,
and there's never any left over.....
-
two cups of crushed cauliflower?
that's rice?!?
sorta.
we added GPOP, and lime juice, and a little oil,
and seared it over high heat until it was crispish, but softish, and very aromatic...
i dunno exxxactly HOW it happens, but i know it was delicious.
that's real.
-
the black beans were picante, kids.
half an onion, a few cloves of garlic, a chunk of anaheim chili, a half a jalapeno,
a whole minced habanero,
plus GPOP, cumin, crushed coriander seed, oregano, and smoked paprika?
and 3/4 can of those blacker-than-blacks?
that's flavor from every direction, bro. and heat on heat with hottness to spare.
how good?
SO good.
i was very pleased with both the thick, meaty textureand the high-intensity flavor.
if you are willingly and knowingly having bland beans, you're making a mistake...
and you might be dumb.
just sayin'.
these juicy joinx were on point, and warm on a few levels.
y'boi was all too happy to hunker down and tear into the whole panful.
yup.
-
and then there's the sprankles.
pepitas, aka pumpkin seeds, aka pumplestiltskins-
about a quarter cup's worth,
fried in 2 T olive oil, with 11 turns of the coarse black pepper grinder,
removed from the heat as soo as they begin to brown
and finished with 4 tsp maple syrup with a serious shake-the-sh!t-out motion applied to the pan.
yum yum YUM.
those are what you need, nerds.
don't skimp out, or you'll never know how awesome your life can be.
that's not an understatement, either.
-
did i hot 'em with the habanero ho'sauce?
what do you think, buddy?
i'm some sort of piece of trash?
OF COURSE i hit 'em with the habanero ho'sauce.
this is not a game, this is taco tuesday,
and that's not something to be taken lightly.
***********
the holiday season is encroaching on my time management skills.
i've got a LOT to do,
but i'm always at work.
yesterday, i dipped out for a minute, to hit up the homegoods,
and stock up on site-specific seasonally-appropriate candles.
i mean,
rules IS rules, and if it smells like summer, but looks like santa,
you're doing it WRONG, homie.
get with it.
ANYway,
now it's aromatic in the best way at AMPERSAND TATTOO,
and we hope you appreciate how spirited our holiday sensibilities truly are.
there may not be enough time,
but what moments and minutes there are have been maximized as if by magic.
fitting it all in isn't easy,
but it's ALL really happening anyway,
and that's forever and ever the whole point;
never quiet, never soft.....