SWEET SIXTEEN!!!!

*author's note: this was composed friday*

-

happy F*ing berfday maple star!!!

that's right!

my youngest child turns sweet sixteen years old today.

yup.

in a row.

and that's a big deal.

that means an automobile learner's permit,

and potentially after-school employment,

and also, that the kid is flippin' sixteen.

that's a good year.

a big year, even.

and you know i'm headed down to connecticut, 

braving terrible weather conditions,

worse traffic,

and disastrously delicate diaperbabies on then highways and rural routes

that lead to my destination.

yeah!!

woo hoo!!

the thing is-

i love my not-so-little baby, and i wouldn't miss out on this for anything.

so,

i'm driving.

because celebrating is important,

and maple is important,

and if there's one thing i enjoy- 

it's commemorating the minutes and moments that matter most 

with my most magnificent and magical werewolfen pack of 

bloodline-tied peoples, in any places and spaces within which we may congregate. 

mmmhmmmm.

and also,

because rules is rules,

and cake is a mandatory accompaniment to berfday celebrations,

you can rest assured that i'm bringing the big action down south with me.

that's right, neighbors.

dad is in charge of the cake.

mostly because none of those F*s give any sh!ts about vegan food,

and it's a bummer when everybody gets cake but me.

every year, every time, i'm steady bringing the hottness,

to share with all these dudes.

why?

because i'm not an A*-hole, bro.

and good cake is hard to come by,

especially when you're dealing with some no-cookin'-A* box-mix store-bought-type folks.

i'm big-timin' and showboatin' and one-uppin' and grandstandin' on that from-scratch,

homemade, no-recipe but still-dope,

vegan lightning-striking viking vanguard of victual virtuosity.

and maple requested maple frosting,

so that's happening too.

check it out:

WU-TANG, B!TCHES!!!!

my kids don't get that sad stuff.

they get the big burly beautiful jauns.

***********

sixteen years!!!

sweet!!!

and what a great person.

and what a clever and artistic actor!

and what a freakin' sense of humor.

i'm biased, for sure,

but i've got myself a youngest daughter who has far more in the way of endurance

and enthusiasm than i ever have.

and it doesn't hurt that she's a good-lookin', joke-crackin', 

subtle secret-listening smirkin'-A* sixteen year old, either.

i know i'm lucky, and i'm feeling it.

i'll probably feel even luckier once i'm out of the car, safely and soundly celebrating

with all the people who contributed to the creation of such an enjoyable kid.

i am grateful for the time i get, and the space we span.

it's ALL really happening,

and i'm well aware that this is what matters.

happy berfday, maple star.

sixteen is no joke;

never quiet, never soft.....