y'know?
yeah.
homemade everything.
from-scratch mastery.
big ol' burly sustenance and succor to combat the draining drudgery
of miserably monotonous mountain weather,
fresh off the griddle and warming up my whole soul,
or something similar, internally, or thereabouts.
WORDIMUS PRIME!
that's a custom-blended perfectly seasoned batter,
soaked into thick, crusty slabs of homemade white mountain sourdough,
fried up and covered in blueberry maple compote,
and turned up and off the 1-10 chart, to 11, with fresh sliced banana,
and whipped mutha-b!tchin' cream.
y'know what i'm talking about?!
yeah!!!
i'm talking about the big B,
and that's the stuff that universal daydreamscape vision quests are made of.
i mean it.
check the teleport:
YEAH, BOI, YOU KNOW I GOT THOSE HOMEBOYFRIES,
AND THAT POPEYE SCRAMBO POPPIN' OFF AS WELL,
BECAUSE I'M NOT SOME LITTLE WIMPLETON BABY!!
hahahahaha.
yes.
*
ok,
so, let's start with those homeboys.
that's your oven, preheating to 415℉,
with a panful of skin-on mini red new potatoes, quartered,
tossed in a tablespoon of olive oil, with pink salt, black peps, and GPOP,
to roast in time with the rising heat.
when the oven hits it's target, the spudlettes are done, bro.
tight.
a few tablespoons of minced onion, a hard shake of smoked paprika,
some oil, or vegan butter, as you prefer,
all according to your desired level of greasy crispness,
and a few green onion sprankles to keep it real at the end.
BAM, and just as simply as that. you're living a more expert life.
*
next up?
that scrambo, yo:
super-exxtra-firm tofu, a tablespoon of minced onion,
a few tablespoons of olive oil,
salt, black pepper, heavy on the turmeric.easy on the smokey paprika,
healthy shake-ups of Garlic Powder and Onion Powder, a dash of nootch....
a little bit of heat, for as long as it takes to cook it through,
and remove most of the wetness, and then a few BIG handfuls of spinach,
and a spoonful or two of hemp hearts to magnify all the protein-powered nutrients an' that.
legit, if you've got two hands, and a pan, you can kick off some crucial scrams
with almost no majorly-taxing effort whatsoever.
i think that means it's mandatory to have it whenever you'd like to.
i'd like to have it all the time.......and i do!
*
dudes!
the frenchie toasties were impossibly good.
better than ever,
and they're usually kind of the best already.
that's a tall order to top, but we did it!
the batter was perfect, and the bread was exxxactly stiffened up enough to soak it all in
like a thirsty cactus on the one rainy afternoon it's likely to see for a long while.
mmmmmmmm.
the white mountain sourdough situation is only improving with time.
that's for serious.
the cultures on my counter are flourishing, and nourishing my needs with imprecise
effective excellence that only gets better with every loaf.
i love that.
and a series of savage slices, sopping in french-kissable SAUCE?
c'mon,
you like that almost as much as i do, don'tcha?
here's the latest french mix-up:
-
*
BATTER UP!
-
in a small mixing bowl, whisk together:
1 cup almond milk;
1 T chick pea flour;
1 T nootch;
salt;
2 T sugar;
1 T egg replacer starch powder;
2 T ground flax/chia blend;
1 tsp vanilla;
cinnamon, nutmeg, and GINGER!
rest it, let the starches and binders bloom and expand,
and then toss all your bread up in there and let it absorb that gooey goodness.
i fry mine in a huge skillet, with vegan butter,
on medium-high heat, really letting it get good and brown, for minimal flips,
and maximum crisped-crepe-crust.
that's right.
we made five fat slices, and every last one of them was perfect.
it's all luck, and a little practice,
and a tiny bit of benevolence on a wanton whim from the universe.
i'll take what i can get, bro.
and i can get pretty into a good batch of french toast.
...
and what about that maple syrup and blueberry SAUCE?!?!
well, i'll tell you all about it;
it's a cup of frozen bloobs, heated up and thinned out with a splash of lemon,
a few drops of vanilla, and a glug of three of real maple syrup.
let me also add this:
it's F*ing amazing.
coupled with the bananas and the whippy creme?
it goes to eleven,
but then, it goes to eleven, again.
daaaaaaaaaaamn, but that's a tasty morsel.
***********
i'm falling behind.
i mean,
on this blog.
in real life, nothing actually happens if i write about today's foodstuffs
any later than right now.
in fact, nothing actually happens when i DO catch up, either.
and that's sort of the good news.
the thing is: i hate missing time, and lagging behind,
and feeling like i've got this obligation hanging over me like a storm cloud...
that's sort of the self-imposed bad news.
i'm the type of fella that feels like doing and less than everything
is the same as being a nasty, lame, lazy, equivocal piece of sh!t.
...and that's not very cool, is it?
so,
i'm struggling to write the words that feel the most true,
in the time between putting cakes in, and taking cakes out, of the oven.
it takes longer to compose this than you'd think.
and that's the saddest thing i've written in weeks.
all this blathering takes time, kids.
and that's what's running out at an alarming rate
i've got all the words, but none of the minutes;
never quiet, never soft.....
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