F.O.T.M.!!

QUESTION:
if it's the ferociously fabulous first of the month?
or if the calendar is flipped, and it's no longer NOvember?
or your tomato-based sauce count has dropped extra low?
i'm sayin':
if the answer to any of these is ever YES,
then the most obvious and crystal clear next step is to put it all on the pizza.
what?
that's riiiiight,
when it's time to get into some seriously expert sh!t,
the right call, each and every single time?
yes, neighbors:
PEE EYE ZEE ZEE AYY!!!
a pizza party is the best kind of party,
and a homemade crusty, daiya cheesy, all-vegan pizza party is even MORE elite
than an already awesome ordinary jaun.
that's the truest story with the happiest ending.
and it all begins with the dough.
hell yeah!
a good semi-semolina start is essential to an ideal pizza pie.
trust your man on this one-
i LOVE pizza as much as anybody else could, if they somehow were capable of exponentially expanding their ability to encompass joy, pain, sunshine, rain, and so on,
into 6-12 wedge-shaped triangles of triumph and tribulation.
y'heard?
word.
and when i make pizza,
i make it dope from dough upwards.
look:

BRUSSELS!! HOMEMADE RED LENTIL PEPPERONI! CARAMELIZED ONIONS!
ARUGULA!! FRIED GARLIC sprankles!!
all on that gooooooooood crust.
ok.
lemme start with a crust recipe:
in a stand mixer, like a champion,
combine, and knead:
2+ cups flour;
1 cup semolina flour;
1 T salt;
1 tsp sugar;
3 T olive oil;
2 T active dry yeast;
2 T vegan butterish;
1/4 cup non-dairy milk;
3/4 cup warm water, w/ 1 tsp bread machine yeast bloomed in there;
beat that up on medium speed for a bit,
and let it rise, covered, on the counter, for fifteen minutes,
the refrigerate it for later use-
* i do this in the early a.m. because i don't sleep, and use it later that day after a refrigerated slow bulk/proof.
* divide your dough into as many equal parts as you desire-
i usually make three fat balls out of this one recipe,
or one large and in charge grandma jaun,
depending on my mood and the number of folks attending my pizza party.
* any unused bits will keep, bagged and refrigerated.for around a week-ish at the max.
which really just means yo'd better be ready to represent on some more pizza, man.
word.
*
i bake my breads on a pizza stone, in my gas-powered oven,
at 485℉, convection-style, until the're good and golden brown.
***********
up there^^^, that brussels simmons jammer is a stellar inclusion of all good tastes.
caramelized onions are tasty as hell. and simple to make-
a little olive oil, a lot of thinly sliced onion, a pinch of salt, a hot pan,
and a few shakes back and forth over time...that's all you need to do
to be impressed by what an amazing chef you just became!
ha.
broth-braised brussles? that's oil and brussie halves, seared, then lidded up after a blast of broth,
and then glazed with a splash or two of soy sauce.
guys.
you're just cutting sprouts, putting them face down, and adding two separate liquids,
one including a lid on your pan, and one omitting it.
you can do that, right?
i know you can, so do it, dude.
damn.
-
i'll add this: if you aren't dicing up your daiya non-dairy chee',
you're effing up. 
yup.
that's a decree.
increasing melt, and surface coverage, all from five seconds of knifeplay
if you've got time to read this, you've definitely got five exxxtra seconds
to improve your vegan pizza game a thousandfold.
-
i make my own vegan sausages. some of you knew that already.
i also activate them into powerful pepperoni,
with the inclusion of broth, hot and smoked paprika, and extra GPOP.
that's Garlic Powder and Onion Powder, bro.
try to keep up.
at any rate, sliced sausages, (recipe here),
and those extras, make amazing 'roni for your pizza.
it's simply simmering half a cup of that mixture with a couple links, sliced up all nicey nice,
until all the juice is absorbed/evaporated.
don't sleep on this hottness, kids.
you're only cheating yourself if you do.
-
*
now, look at THIS beauty:

POTATOES ON PIZZA ARE AMAZING!!!!
that's a thing.
and with those thin-sliced rainbow heirloom tomatoes?
daaaaaaaaamn.
a little nootch dusted on there, and the shredded daiya,
and those braised florets of broccoli?
man, i doo-doo that freaky-diki sauceless white pie magic.
i do.
i roasted those baby red-skin-on 'taters in the oven, with olive oil, salt and pepper,
while the mutha-'ucker was preheating.
they bake fast, they crisp nice, and i waste NO time waiting around like a chump.
expert.
more caramelized onions, because they are exceptionally delicious,
ad MORE fried garlic sprankles.
because rules is rules.
.....then i gave it a dose of parsley, as well.
i F* with double spranks, buddy,
because too much is the right amount.
you know i'm correct in saying that, don't you?
wordimus prime.
***********
if there'a a party in my kitchen,
it's most likely a pizza party,
and that's because a pizza party is the best kind.
i had pizza for lunch,
and i made pizza for dinner,
and in the morning?
you know it-
i reheated the last slice on a skillet,
and tuned that up, too.
i LOVE pizza,
and pizza never lets me down.
in fact,
i feel closer, and safer, and more totally at ease being myself around a pizza box,
than i do trusting in others to be genuine and invested and present and accountable.
damn.
that's a true story.
pizza over people.
that's the slogan for december, dudes.
repeat it until you believe it,
then bring me a thick slice or three;
never quiet, never soft.....