Monday, July 3


'i haven't had waffles in a while'
that's what the guy says to me,
when i ask if breakfast is something he might be interested in.
y'all already know i rep a viking household, right?
slightly unkempt, somewhat wild, a loud, fresh, hard hall of heroism,
with all the skills and skillets you could ask for-
so when a dude starts talking on that waffle game,
you can rest assured i'm gonna take those little b!tches to valhalla....
and i did just that.
check the morning-glorious-type teleport:

and when they're blueberry banana oatmeal coconut double-buttery vanilla-kissed
fantastic fan-tasty terrific circles of dented dopeness from the future??
i don't just like 'em, if you know what i mean.
that's no joke.
holy sh!t, tho!!!
a big B is always a good idea,
even when it's so dang heavy you almost get winded just from eating.
those are yellow carrot and red onion laced skin-on red potato hashbrowns,
with cilantro and scallion sprankles, neighbors.
y'can't even play around and front on how much hottness they have on their side.
i mean it.
drained and pressed, salted and peppered, and crispy fried and fired up,
on top of some pea tendrils and a little bit of lettuce just to give it a boost of rough
on top of all that stark starchy sexxxxiness.
avocado is kind of like the best thing.
white girls have been killing the avocado game forever,
and now,
we're all on board the avo train, and it's a runaway success, especially at breakfast.
real talk.
sliced avocado is the TRUTH,
and it goes great with hashers,
and it goes just as well with hemp-hearted nootch-boosted tofu scrambo.
here's all the recipes, for all of your brekkie needs, nerds:
1/2 block firm tofu, undrained;
1 tsp ea. Garlic Powder and Onion Powder;
dash of salt;
black pepper;
2 T hemp hearts;
3/4 tsp turmeric;
3/4 tsp. smoked paprika.
1 T nutritional yeast.
olive oil.
^crumble that 'fu by hand,
and pan fry that sh!t on medium heat until it's firmer and yellower, and good-lookin',
and then eat it as fast as you can physically accomplish.
it's too good not to.
1 large red potato, skin-on,  grated;
red onion, shaved thin, about 3 T+/-';
1 small yellow carrot, peeled and grated;
in a colander, let all that leach liquid under the influence of salt.
press it well, draining away alllllll the moisture you can squeeze out,
and pan fry those effin' excellent roots until they're crispy all over.
it's easy.
y'might even hit 'em with a dash of paprika to make 'em pretty.
then again, you might not.
i guess only you can say for sure.
1 cup white flour;
2 T wheat germ;
4 T fresh ground oat flour;
4 T crushed unsweetened flake coconut ;
1/2 tsp salt;
1 punch of sugar;
1 tsp baking powder;
1 tsp baking so-so';
1 tsp vanilla;
3 T vegan sour cream;
1 cup non-dairy milk;
3 T melted earth balance.
^^^whisk it, rest it, dump it by the ledleful into your trusty, non-stick waffle iron,
and make those muthas look round AF.
i keep e'm warm in the oven at about 250℉,
while the next ones get ironed out and dented up.
that way,
they're all hot, and we all eat at the same time.
it's called patience, and i have that.
these ones got that hot and happy, melty bloob sauce!!!
...stewed with vanilla and lemon juice and powdered sugar,
which made a sauce with exxxtra juiciness,
which in turn soaked into the top waffle and made it incredibly excellent.
true story.
with bananas, it went expert.
with real new hampshire maple syrup, it went to eleven.
and with kapowdered sugary sprankles?
it went to the future.
i love that.
too much is the right amount, buddy.
that's a surefire way to experience the very best that breakfast has to offer.
go eat some breakfast.
fuel up your day.
fire up your life.
make yourself something delicious,
and then make the magic happen, for you, and me, and us, and them.
you're magic, friends.
if you'e reading this?
you're magic.
that's a decree,
and that's the bottom line.
now, with that said...
i've got to much to do to tell you anything else.
i'm on it, and i'm after it,
and i'm perpetually running behind,
while running in circles,
while chasing my tail, and chasing my dog.
it's all really happening,
and i don't even know what most of it even is;
never quiet, never soft.....

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