Friday, July 28


when you bump into carlos,
you do right by the moment,
and tune up something expert for supper.
i bumped into carlos,
and, well, rules is rules,
so i did what you do,
and got some big action poppin' on our plates.
neighbors, i'll admit, my culinary brain is mildly derailed
by the distractions and demands of the new tattoo studio.
i've got so much still to do,
and so little time within which to do it.
here's the thing-
a man's still gotta eat, y'feel me?
i know.
and that means that when it's time to cook,
i can't just chump it up like a diapery doo-doo babybutt.
no way.
i've got to hold the line, and maintain the natural order.
after all, you either be dope, or you eff off-
and if i'm home already, where am i even going to go?
i'm going to go to work on some dinner, duder, that's where i'm headed.
word up.
happily for my homeboy and i,
i preemptively prepared a batch of from-scratch seitan earlier in the day,
and that carried us to victory as evening set in.
check the teleport:

daaaaaaaaaaaaamn, friends-
i had spice, i had squish, i had (accidental) crunch,
i had it sweetly savory,
and i had savory sweetness,
and i had company,
which was pretty good, too.
i also had sliced semolina sourdough on the side,
and if ever a single bread was simply made for dippin', it's this one.
no joke.
the last of the sauce, and a little more of that crusty bread,
had the end of the line tasting might effing fine.
homemade seitan.
the recipe is on this blog like 10x.
look for it, if you want.
i had the crusty breading scene activated,
with flour, organic non-gmo cornstarch, smoked paprika, chipotle pepper, oregano,
GPOP, nootch, a pinch of sugar, salt, black pepper, and cayenne pepper
all sifted into one dredgeable dusty dopeness,
and i fried each steaky slab in coocnut oil, alongside those poblano strips.
that was expert, buddy.
and it needed that next-level upgrade,
so i HAD to simmer up some spicy sauce for our faces, too-
in one smallish saucepan,
simmer, in 2 T olive oil:
4 T minced onion;
2 cloves crushed garlic;
1/2 cup chopped sweet grape tomatoes;
toss and toast up:
1 tsp cumin;
1/2 tsp powdered coriander seed;
1/4 tsp thyme;
1/2 tsp smoked paprika;
1/2 tsp hot paprika;
1/2 tsp ground mustard;
black pepper, pink salt, and a heavy zap of GPOP;
add 1 1/2 cups crushed tomato;
1/4 cup seitan broth (or veggie stock, or whatever)
and let that bubble away onlmediumish heat, until its thicker, and more aromatic,
and more magnificently spicy that you thought would ever be possible in fifteen minutes.
y'ever had coconut beans and rice?
i hope so.
because then you'll get why i had to have a whole second heaping helping of that hottness.
too much is the right amount,
and that goes double for coconut.
you know i know about what's really real in the realm of coco-loco.
you need some of this.
and here's how to have some of it-
in medium-sized pot, saute:
1/2 minced sweet onion;
2 chopped center-celery stalks;
2 coves sliced garlic;
1/2 cup unsweetened medium flake luxury coconut.
when the onion gets translucent,
1 can (12oz?) small red beans;
1 cup jasmine rice;
1 can full-fat coconut milk (GOYAAAAAA!!!!)
1/4 cup warm water.
1/2 tsp cayenne;
1 tsp ea. GPOP.
cover, bring to a boil, reduce heat to a simmer,
and give it about fifteen, until all the juice if absorbed.
bros and sisters,
this sh!t is THE TRUTH.
with those scallion sprankles, too?
c'mon, now-
and when you zipzap it with the lime, your whole face will transform into something
new and improved for all the nutrients and vitamins and stuff
that are enriching your whole damned life with every freakin' bite.
...that's real, probably.
i get after it in this kitchen.
and quickly.
i want maxximum flavor, with minimal prep these days.
sure, i love to go all out on the big deluxxxe,
but all that luxurious intention is being diverted
to the bigger, better, louder, fresher, faster explosive
high-energy super-intense turbo-hot fire dopeness
that is/will be AMPERSAND TATTOO.
i've been waiting years for this.
and soon, it will all really be happening,
for you, and me, and everybody.
i'm grateful for the time i have been given,
and i s'pose the long wait, and the tough trails,
the trying tests of temerity and temper,
the humbling and crumbling crash of hubris,
and the constant press of surround-sound underappreciation,
have all led to now.
that's a pretty big deal, huh?
yeah, i guess it is;
never quiet, never soft.....

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