Saturday, July 1


too much is the right amount.
that means that you can't have enough of a good thing.
and that makes sense.
because good is good, and bad is everything else.
y'know something, though?
i make a LOT of food.
a LOT.
and this year, i have created a whole holy sh!tload of stuff,
every damned day,
for the first six months,
in totality, from scratch, because i believe in what i'm sayin' to y'all.
that's a lot of making and baking and pots, and pans, and dishes to get done.
that's bowl after bowl of batter,
and skillful skillet-fulls of scrambo,
and all the homemade seitan and sausage,
and piles of pizza, pasta, and power.
that's like one hundred eighty expert examples of active participation.
i could've been out having fun-
which is another way of saying: wasting time playing and effing around,
losing hours and days doing without making,
and gaining no real practical application of accomplishment
as it pertains to purpose, progress, presentation, and productivity.
(all of which i reallllllly value above diversion and distraction)
ANYway, neighbors,
i didn't stop,
i didn't F* around,
and i didn't quit-
and the last, but not least, and actually not last, either, tasty experience
was yet another 'nother triumph of texture and flavor.
check the end-of-june-type teleport:

WU-TANG, motherF*er.
chocolate coconut creme pie.
this is the one that convinces and converts smart people
who are open to the concept of living life like a responsible, conscientious,
conscious, woke AF denizen of an evolved planet.
this is SO good, and so completely decadent and indulgent,
that the vegan plant-based karmic positivity of it is unnoticeable.
if this can be amazing, AND somehow vegan,
then maybe,
we don't have to be a bunch of cruel, selfish, destructive effing A*-holes anymore.
i mean it.
we get choices, and when this is a choice, i always opt for it.
sure, there are minor variances from pie to pie,
but each and every one of 'em is a victory worthy of valhalla.
here's the details, dudes:
in your trusty food processor, crush:
1 pkg chocolate grahams,
2 T cocoa;
1 handful of quick oats;
3 T sugar;
1/4 cup coconut (medium flake unsweetened, unsulphured);
transfer to a medium bowl,
and add:
3-4 T melted plant-based butter;
1 tsp vanilla;
non-dairy milk by the tablespoonful, until it's all one clumpable,
form-holding crumbly mass,
and press it into a pie pan.
bake that, at 375℉, for 11 minutes,
and set aside.
in your food processor again,
1/4 cup of that good coconut;
1 pkg, pressed silken tofu;
1 tsp coconut extract if you've got it (it's DOPE);
1 tsp vanilla;
2 T cocoa;
and one bag's worth of melted vegan dark chocolate chips-
blend that all together,
and pour it into the crust, bro.
let that set, and cool, and you've got the TRUTH
right there in all it's pure chocolaty coconut grandeur.
of course,
that hardly seems like it's dope enough,
despite my personal guarantee that it tastes like all the hottness at once-
the thing of it is:
it's all about MORE, man.
that's what we want.
rules is rules.
which is exxxactly why there's coconut sprankles.
and two sizes of dark chocolate chips,
over dark chocolate ganache drizzles,
AND a little of that freak-it-off toasted almond frosting at the edges.
make this.
you need to.
it's a life-and-game-changer, if you're smart and rad,
and teetering on the cusp of really becoming somebody worth a sh!t.
my last meal for the first half of the year?
molto italiano!
i'm talking homemade crushed tomato/chunky tomato sauce,
gravified with caramelized sweet onion, crushed garlic,
meltaway minced yellow carrot, browned from-scratch seitan crumbles,
and all the herbs that make it molto molto still.....
plus nootch, and red wine vinegar to deglaze the glops,
and seitan broth to thin it out, so that the re-simmered baby-bubbly thickening
effect would have even MORE flavor than we started with.
i needed a good sauce, kids.
my count was low.
and with some of those ziti, with lines, of course,
i tuned up a whole pound of pasta like a professional pig-out powerhouse.

i tattooed a rad dude, who also happens to share a similar perspective,
and genetic make-up,
so my italian DNA insurgency surfaced,
and demanded maca-F*ing-roni.....
what can i say, folks?
nature wins.
i regret not one bite.
real talk.
today is the day.
the first one of the next one.
and right now,
i've got cookies and cakes and bread all begging for my attention,
and a young dog who needs a long walk.
it doesn't matter what day it is,
or how many masterworks i've managed to document-ther's work to do,
and that's what i do best;
never quiet, never soft.....

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