Monday, July 3


i don't party like you.
i don't party.
so, every so often i may throw a party,
but it's never a dumb one,
and always a dinner party,
and even then,
just to make sure nobody will come to a second one-
it's a sober vegan dinner party;
which is to say it's the least like a fun party a party can be.
when it's time to party,
and by that i mean make food near people,
then you'd better believe that in lieu of liquid courage,
i'm reppin' cajun rage!!
we will always party hard, if those words are defined as eating too much good food.
word up.
nate was here again, tattooing and torturing his tired tendons and nerves.
he was also tuning up a tremendous quantity of remoulade.
real talk.
the dude can get into it with the SAUCE.
what did we have, that had such copious quarts of pickled veggie spread?
.....deconstructed po' boys, like rich folks.
check the teleport:

a slice of toasted homemade sourdough, spread heavy with that 'lade,
plus red onion rings, tomatoes, pickles, and green onion sprankles,
over double-trouble cabbage shreds.
that's what you do, dudes, when you're doing what you're s'posed to at supper.
that's not it.
how could it be?
there's blackened crusty pan-fried custom seitan steaks, too.
parika and cayenne and smoked paprika,
GPOP, and thyme, and oregano, and black pepper for ages,
cornstarch and wheat flour and cornmeal,
and ground mustard and just a touch of salt.....
they're good as heck, and they're dope as hell.
with a dash or seven of ho'sauce?
it's like a sandwich exploded itself out flat!
you need some of that GUAP AF remoulade, too, neighbors:
1/3 cup ea. peeled and fine-minced celeriac and yellow carrot;
1/4 cup chopped radishes;
1 cup apple cider vinegar;
1/4 tsp salt;
2 T sugar;
thyme, black pepper, celery seed, mustard seed, red pepper flakes.
bring the vinegar to a boil,
and add the veg.
return to a boil, and give it 5 minutes.
turn off the heat, and let that mixture cool.
drain off the liquid and transfer the pickled veg to a bowl-
add 1/3 cup vegenaise, 1/4 tsp ground mustard, and 1/2 tsp turmeric.
toss, and stir, and spread it on everything.
i mean it.
spread it on your face, spread it on a puppy, spread it on your pancakes.
and then there's that mirepoix rice!
damn, dudes, that stuff was smoooooooth.
red pepper, and celery, and sweet onion, simmered in oil,
with GPOP and garlic and seitan broth
for boiling up the rice in once the veg was wilted just a touch.
then, there's the tangy heat factor, activated with pickled jalapeno ring sprankles,
and also, those little bitty baby microgreens to sexxx it up a touch.
too much is the right amount-
fresh cucumbers and lettuces go great with flavorful, supersoft riceyniceness-
and you can take that to the bank.
i'll bet you though we were done talking about food now, huh?
how could we be, when fried cauliflower just keeps getting better/
that's real.
and this time, the batter was so expert i had to ask myself:
am i an X-man?
is my mutant power just being dope?!
i realized something as i asked the question, though-
the X-men are previous level children of the atom.
i'm on some child of the add-on jauns.
like, MORE, and then some.
i guess i'm an XI-man, if you get where i'm going at, y'know?
and that means taking it to the limits,
and that includes cauliflower.
half a head of dense tight white florets, chopped up bite-sized.
and a 2:1 ratio of flour to cornstarch,
with 2 tsp baking powder sifted in,
plus the spices-
black pepper, cayenne pepper, sriracha flakes; coriander; parsley, basil, oregano,
smoked sweet paprika, and hot paprika, too.
i had a bout a cup of mixture,
and i added about a half of a cup of 'milk to it.
that's a wet mess, and it wants to adhere to those wrestlers' ears like crazy!
oh, c'mon,
you get it, and you like it.
y'gotta fry those effers up in crazy hot veg oil, until they get brown on the outsides,
and meltaway soft within.
i dunno how long that's gonna take, but when you get there,
get a bowl ready to catch those hot blops.
here's the thing, kids-
i use that drain-as-you-scoop wok spoon, with the braided wire, to get 'em,
so the greasiness goes away as i lift them out-
you do what you want, and leave 'em super-greasy, or paper-towel 'em first,.
or whatever,
while they're still painfully hot-
toss those tasty nubs into that bowl,
with a blast of ho'sauce, a squeeze of agave, a touch of sesame oil,
and a generous punch of chopped cilantro-
expert expert expert!!!!
and when you hit that whole heap of hottness with jalapeno sprankles?
you're eating at omega level.
you are the winner.
in other news, i'm just too damned busy.
maybe even more than the right amount.
that's hard to do,
but somehow, i'm doing it, and also, i'm doing it.
i'm not doing IT.
that's a luxxxury i can't afford.
but, on just three hours of sleep,
i'm ready to get into it again today,
and get after it,
and get those mutha-effin' movie checks-
before i get to do other other stuff on america's berfday tomorrow.
i'm sure there will be fireworks and working fires and soooooo many festy-A* F*ers,
but not for me, and not at the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
crabtree and i are going to skip the festivities in favor of one-on-one fun at home.
he's a handful when there's nobody around,
and i'm a hermit because there's nobody around,
and adding people and terrible music and awful food,
and worse clothing, and harder styles just seems superfluous.
sure there's free exxxplosions in the sky,
but maybe i'll just listen to 'wilderness', by explosions in the sky,
and call it a day.
it's all really happening, with or without me,
but, without me there,
it's better for everybody;
never quiet, never soft.....

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