Sunday, July 23


5x chocolate brownies.
that's how it is, now.
and i've been slacking, sort of, on keeping everything recorded for you.
sorry about that.
here's what they look like:

and here's how you make them:
preheat your oven to 360℉.
in a medium mixing bowl, cream together:
1 stick very soft plant-based butter;
1 cup sugar;
1/4 cup brown sugar;
2 tsp vanilla;
3/4 cup non-dairy yogurt;
1/2 cup cocoa (that's a lot!);
1/2 tsp salt.
when that is mixed well-enough to become a thoroughly sloppy wet mess,
add 1 cup of non dairy milk, and mix well.
it's reverse batter, buddy,
and it's realllllly damned good.
2 1/2 cups a.p. sifted flour;
2 tsp bakey powpow;
1 tsp bakey soda;
1 heaped cup of chocolate chips;
2/3 cup cacao nibs.
stir well,
and add to a greased and floured brownie pan.
bake for 33 minutes, or until the center just barely isn't jiggly anymore.
let them cool a little, but NOT to room temperature.
we want the next level of chocolate to work, too.
shave dark baker's deep dirty chocolate all over the tops.
and it'll melt jusssst enough to hold fast.
try it first, to make sure it doesn't just all-the-way dissolve, tho, obvi.
don't be dumb, duders.
and ganache!
y'gotta doo-doo that ganache, guys.
rules is rules.
and what's the use of exxxtra-chocolaty chocolate without even MORE chocolate?
that's 1/2 cup chocolate chips, melted,
with 3 T non-dairy milk,
1 tsp vanilla;
3 T powdered sugar.
kaBOOM! instant hottness.
that's FIVE kinds of chocolate.
and these reverse bbattery b!tches are the bomb, bruh bruh.
for really real.
they're super soft and springy, and moist and rich and light, surprisingly.
so much so that they do go down the hatch pretty easily.
you might tune up ten in a row before you have time to register
that you've just given yourself diabetes.
be careful.
but, also, be ready, because once you do this,
brownies will be forever changed.
it's all really happening,
and i'd be more than happy to share them with you;
never quiet, never soft.....

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