Friday, April 28


pee eye zee zee ayy!!!!!
that's the truth.
pizza never lets me down,
and pizza always brings the hottness to the party.
i've written a LOT over the years about pizza,
so much so that i sometimes worry that i've gotten too repetitive.
...but then i remember how F*ing expert pizza is,
and how anybody who could get bored of pizza is probably a real jerk-hole.
that's a fact.
pizza is preposterously versatile.
and delicious.
and rewarding.
and beautiful.
this tie around, for my solo pizza party times,
i proofed my dough, stretched it out,
and took it all the way back to sicily.
or, at least,
to NY-dirty-C, and those big metal gas ovens and deep pans
that represent the signature sicilian square.
check the corner-slice-is-what-you-need-type teleport:

the best part about the big rectangles?
variety, man.
that's what's up.
that pepperoni?
100% the TRUTH.
real talk.
begin with homemade vegan sausage.
slice it into discs, layer them in a pan,
and sizzle those sh!ts right up with a dash of liquid smoke,
aglug of olive oil, GPOP, smoked paprika, hot paprika,
and seitan broth to cover them....,
simmer that until all the liquid is absorbed/evaporated,
and you've got what?
- the closest third has got what you need, nerds:
minced daiya mozzarella, layered heavy,
with crushed tomatoes on top, and caramelized onions,
AND pepperoni, and cashew crema doing double duty as burrata?
guys, add on some fried garlic and parsley sprankles,
and suddenly grandma is keeping it real like yesteryear!
that's the style, bro, and it's good for you.
- above that, there's a more traditional sauce, spinach, chee', onion, 'roni jaun.
also with the combo spranks, because rules is rules,
and fried garlic is absolutely essential on Folk Life pizza.
it's so simple, but it's so astounding and amazing and satisfying.
jeez, i just feel so strongly about pizza, y'know?
i know- you know- we know.
- last up, old-school classic albie 'za'za, kids;
underchee', (cashew-garlic-tofu chee'),
tomato sauce,
sauteed mushrooms and soy-glazed fried brussels sprouts,
red onion bits and pieces,
fried garlic OBVI,
and a few dollops of cashew crema.
expert AF, on the ones.
the dough?
oh man!
the dough is where it's at:
2 cups flour;
1 cup semolina flour;
1 tsp wheat gluten;
2 tsp salt;
1 pkg active dry yeast;
3 T olive oil;
1 1/4 cups warm water + 2 tsp sugar + 2 tsp bread machine yeast.
stand-mixed for 7 minutes, for a sticky, sexxxy dough,
bulked for an hour, punched down, and proofed in the fridge for 20 hours!!
yeasty, stretchy, sultry semolina savagery was/is in full effect.
i used half for that big pan of powerful pizza partying,
and still have two personal portions packed away for later in the week.
that's just such good news, it makes me wanna celebrate.
and how do we celebrate?
you guessed it-
with MORE pizza,
my oven is roaring at 490༠F;
my whole house is toasty warm;
my brain is free from all shackles of perception;
there is only pizza, and nothing else matters.
...that's just how it is when pizza is what's happening.
it's a little troublesome, really.
the state of pure being that comes from making my favorite food is so alluring,
i basically want to make and eat pizza all day every day.
no, really.
i don't know how else to say it.
pizza is better than almost everything.
certainly more awesome than everything currently on today's schedule, anyway.
there's always the possibility of a positive plot twist,
so i'll hold onto that thought,
and dream of MORE pizza in the meantime.
it's all really happening friends.
some of it tastes better than others, though.
and just to end it how i started it:
heroic magnificent vegan pizza > you;
never quiet, never soft.....

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