Saturday, July 16


black bottom!!
i said what i meant-
and i'll freely admit that i was inspired by the internet on this one.
that's right.
how many times can i see, and two-tap heart up on,
a pretty picture of a perfect pie,
and not get excited to try my hand at freaking it off at home?
i'm the type of fella who gets motivated by the competent, capable,
accomplishments of other activated experts out there in real life.
i doo-doo that psyched-up-inspirational-style sh!t.
how could i not?
i mean,
i've said it before, and i'll repeat it now because it's the truth-
a good idea is a good idea.
...and i'll use those ideas to make a little magic of my own.
the black bottom pie is now in effect.
what is it?
it's fan-F*ing-tastic, that's what it is.
check the teleport:

creamchee'-fluffed pastry dough,
with a third reserved and infused with cocoa,
for that sexxxy two-tone love jones that's sweet, crunchy, flaky, light and dark!
so dope.
i got the braids, the stars, and the reverse stars all poppin' off,
but it's what's inside that really bumps up the hottness, neighbors.
i mean it.
dark, rich chocolate ganache forms the second skin within!
pastry, chocolate, and then the strawberries.
oh, riiiight.
those are strawbz, by the way;
and boy oh boy are they ever juicy!
local berries have all the size and sweetness anybody could ask for,
that didn't stop me from sugaring, starching, and lemon enhancing
all that big red flavor with the exxtras and upgrades i needed to have.
sure, kids,
they ARE good all on their own,
too much is the right amount.
that's a thing.
and besides,
a perfect ten cold always use a boost off the charts......
and i'm biting down on a black-bottomed eleven over here.
secret chocolate undersides are good.
i mean it.
i guess a recipe isn't really necessary is it?
*make your preferred pie crust.
*simmer some berries in sugar, vanilla, lemon, and starch, to thicken it up,
so you don't get a filthy curdled pectin sludge. (yuck)
*keep your dough COLD.
*melt up some ganache-
(i use dark chocolate, powdered sugar, vanilla extract,
and a little baby bit of soymilk to emulsify it,)
let it cool to a still spreadable level of meltitude,
and coat the innerunderside of that pie crust like a chocolate-lovin' lion
of majestic secret society sumptuousity!!
*throw in your simmered, set and sealed berries, and decorate that jamie-jammer.
i bake all my pies at 425F, for at least 30 minutes,
and then, depending on how they look, i'll give 'em a little more.
to get that fit and finish in full effect sometimes it takes more time.
here's the thing, friends:
intuition should be your guide in these things.
i've seen close personally-important people F* up a well-regulated recipe,
and i've also seen a long line of my antecedents and progenitors regularly
flip it and reverse it, without any guides or measurements.
on the one hand,
recipes are great foundations,
on the other,
i'm quite probably genetically predisposed to not following directions.
that's no joke.
what i think its essential to consider is:
maybe food is as much about feeling as following directions.
well, yes, man-
obviously learn some basics,
don't burn your house down trying some foolishly uninformed maneuvers,
also don't worry if your brussels are a bit undercooked-
after all,
there's no dead animals rotting and possibly killing you with diseases
if they're not at a safe serving temperature.
i'm over here cooking entirely by instinct,
not because i'm great at it,
but because i'm trusting my brain-mouth-bellyhole
to be honest with me about what i wanna eat.
i make whatever that is.
and while i may use a measuring cup,
it's not to mete out a predetermined amount,
it's to determine how much so i can tell YOU,
so that hopefully,
you'll take that as a suggestion,
and then casually veer from the pre-forged path.
i'm making black bottoms because i saw some,
but i'm making up my own version,
based off of the picture, not a premeasured page of plans.
look, man,
all i'm trying to get across here is the blackbottomline:
trust yourself, guys.
you're most likely way smarter and able than you realize;
never quiet, never soft.....

No comments: