Saturday, July 30


i don't usually take requests.
i'm serious.
what's more irritating than those sorta one-way streetwalkers
who have tons of suggestions about what you should do.
on the real-real,
i just am struck by the (un?)intentional sense of suggestive entitlement
that comes from getting treats on the regular.
just because i like to bake,
i did NOT enlist to be anybody's personal dessert provider.
i should make this, i should make that-
what's stopping any of them from maybe making a move or two in their own kitchen,
and getting involved in activating some homemade hottness they can be proud of?
oh, right...
i forget that most folks i meet are 'too busy' to cook.
i'm actually too busy to stop my own forward progress and make them a donut.
here's where it gets tricky, tho-
these kids of mine asked for stir-fry.
and while i don't normally listen to people who talk a lot, but do very little....
i knew i could get them to get with the program,
and climb aboard the active participation train.
....and really, how could i refuse?
i mean, c'mon,
what better time could there be to get after it than stir-friday?!
i got home from a soul-strippin' sap-sucking session
of tattzappin' at the studio,
and burst through the door, and into action, at the same time.
rice was steaming,
onions were sauteeing,
carrots were cut,
all before i even saw one of the kids.
that's real.
i don't have time to waste, neighbors-
stir fry is quick,
but prep isn't for lazy chumps.
they got involved,
we got intense,
we made it happen,
and the delicious dishes we produced are pretty flippin' expert.
check the teleport:

that's what i'm talking about, bruh-bruh.
i had pans on pans on pans reppin' high heat, and sizzling oil,
just to flash the F* outta these eats.
there's string beans, shishito peppers, sweet peppers, hot peppers,
huge garlic slices, celery,
zucchini, and cilantro sprankles,
fired on top of mixed shredded cabbage,
accompanied by pineapple and scallions!
we also had a coolwater accompaniment of pea tendrils, sweet cherry tomatoes,
cucumber, purple basil, avocado, and lime wedgie citrus upgrades!!!
was that it?
no way.
i had sesame oil seared broccoli, carrots, and sweet vidalia onion,
blasted with GPOP,
before i steamed 'em  into the last stretch of the process with a custom sweet 'n' sour sauce.
1 T agave, 2 T soy sauce, 2 T rice wine vinegar, 1 T GPOP, 1 tsp black pepper,
1 tsp coriander, 1 tsp ginger, 1 T water, 1 tsp sesame oil, 1 T ho'sauce.
that's right,
quick and easy, but in excessive and forceful amounts.
that's the way we do it.
i mentioned rice.
we like rice.
we also really like tofu.
for real.
fried crispy-skinned exxxtra-firm cubes of that soybeany big business
are what's good in the woods, and in MY 'hood,
we get psyched on a simple-seasoned seared set of squares.
that's right.
dinner happened at breakneck pace,
and we ate loud, and fast, and hard.
these guys have inherited my eating habits,
and while they are smaller, they aren't quieter, i can attest to that.
anyway, i took their suggestion, and i accepted their help,
and we did a thing we all enjoyed.
if you wanna HELP,
i'm happy to listen to your ideas for cakes we can bake together.
i'm going to have to please ask that you gently eff right off.
speaking of baking-
i little red henned another 'nother loaf of leavened luxury yesterday.
the early a.m. oven hours over here are nothin' to laugh at...
i tried some new stuff, and it mostly worked out.
check the whole-grain-type teleport:

cracked rye berries, coarse ground oatmeal, sprouted whole wheat, white flour,
2/3 whole wheat starter, salt, and water, and time.
the time is key,
and that's where i ran into trouble.
oh yeah. it's not all success and laurels over here.
the sequence of events is crucial to the outcome in this.
the crust is fantastic, that's for certain.
the rise was on point, too.
i attribute that to the innate nutty sweetness of that sprouted stuff.
damn, it's dope.
i worked late during the bulk ferment,
and the little helpers were otherwise occupied,
so i ballooned up beyond the parameters of a happy loaf.
cracked rye and whole wheat promised a dense bomber, anyway-
i just could've timed it a little closer,
and let the cold proof begin on the back end of the body-building.
we'll get it next time, i'm sure.
the crumb is chewy, and delicious, and there's a lot of flavor from all those grains.
i used my increasingly-elevated high-hydration ratios,
as i correctly assumed that oats and rye would soak the sh!t outta that water.
how does it toast?
like a mutha-F*ing DREAM!
a little earth balance butterish,
and i've been in heaven all morning.
i think it's time to fire up a loaf of white mountain white, again.
i know,
i do two a week,
but i EAT two a week.
good bread makes better people,
and self improvement through whole grains and wild yeast sounds
like a great idea to me.
it's all really happening,
and we're doing the very best we're capable of.
that capacity increases every single day;
never quiet, never soft.....

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