Friday, September 23


it's that time, kids.
the decline and fall of the year.
and what do i love best about whenever there's something to celebrate?
seasonally appropriate site-specific TREATS!!!!
you KNOW it, neighbors.
i can't resist a special occasion,
nor can i deny that i've got a high drive for developing celebratory style
when it comes to things i think i probably like.
that's no joke.
that said,
apples aren't exactly my priority. most days.
however, in september,
and on the first day of F*ing fall???
heck yes, kids.
i HAD to bring the big, burly, barbarian battle-bard business to bear,
in a bowl so deep i got lost in it's gravity.
check the autumnal-equinox-rocks-your-socks-type teleport:

i'm on about a big slice of that ultimate apple jaun.
i made it up, but i worked it out.
in the end, the combination of delights made my day.
8 gala apples, peeled and cored, and cut into fattie-boombattie chunks,
simmered in real maple syrup, two or three glugs,
and an equal splash of apple cider,
with a handful of sugar,
a spritz of vanilla,
cinnamon, nutmeg, ginge, alspice, and a little baby bit of lemon juice.
all of that, plus a few fat pats of butts, and a pinch of salt,
had the softening underway on medium-low heat almost immediately.
when the juice content got too juicy,
i tempered it with whole rolled oats- one manly fistful,
and i ended up with a perfect pie filling for my trouble.
the outer crust is graham cracker, melted butts, vanilla, and soymilk,
with a little cinnamon to spice it up.
easy. easy. easy.
ten minutes of baking at 350F,
just to set it firmly in place prior to the big baking action
had it all already ready, and waiting,
for a big ol' blop of that fruited-up flavor.
again, that's pretty expert.
the topping?
or should i say,
the upper crust?
oh MAN!
i used about a cup and a quarter of flour,
some pie spices in unspecified quantities,
a dash of salt,
a half a cup of apple cider,
1 tsp ea. baking powpow and soda,
a few tablespoons of sugar,
and another fistful of oats,
to make a pancake-style batter for pouring into all the nooks and sh!t.
i hit it with brown sugar sprankles,
and MORE oatmeal,
and baked that b!tch for 30ish minutes at 350F, until the top was well-caramelized,
and the apple mush in the middle was steaming.
totally, completely, autumnally expert.
the BIG deep dish was key, i feel.
i'm serious.
when you're on a mission to mound your mouth with the most magnificence,
you'll likely need a deeper dish to get it done.
i doo-doo that deep d stuffin', duders.
after all,
too much is the right amount.
and that's real.
MY slice was a la mode, with an almond milk vanilla scoople,
because i'm not an A*-hole,
and i know what's good.
...speaking of-
i've used up my cool tattoo allotment,
and have moved dow the list into the rent-paying variety of awesome ideas.
and by awesome,
i mean, SOOOOO awesome.
which is to say:
i'll be suffering through a long week of weak sauce,
and letting the ink flow as freely as my tears of disappointment at my appointments.
a grand don't come for free, guys,
so it's grinding and grinding and grinding from here until the fair.
oh yes.
i'm working short days that whole week,
just to get my A* out to those zesty, rewarding, lovely, enriching falafels.
you are certainly free to find your own bright spots where you may.
mine, however,
are all going to get covered in tahini;
never quiet, never soft.....

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