sconely.

i made scones.
they were good.
i ate many.
boom.
that's the synopsis.
i'll be elaborating,
but now you know what the power points are.
that having been said-
dudes,
the SCONES!!!
yeah.
scones.
tasty breakfast jauns that deliver the dope dividends directly to my bellyhole.
for real-
i never get tired of those terrific triangles.
nope.
not one bit.
in fact,
i sort of always wish there were maybe one or two MORE.
this batch was fast and dirty,
headed into the hot oven as it heated up for a whole other style of baking.
uh-huh.
i had bread to bake as well,
but the respective temperatures are linear,
and i allowed myself the luxury of taking a slight detour to the scone zone
before i started loafing around.
and i'm SO glad i did, too.
really.
what would a rainy monday morning have been without scones??
basically,
it would've been just that......awwww.
so,
i took my time, of which there is precious little,
and i cut in the fats,
and i folded in the wets,
and i grated the greatest zest of lemon i've ever had had.....
and then i folded,
and turned,
and folded, and turned,
over and over and over and over etc etc and so forth and so on-
what do we get when we get like that?
we get it poppin' in the breakfast nook, nerds.
duh.
don't be dumb.
instead,
maybe you should check the teleport:

WORD!!
i got that new new.
i did.
giant chocolate chunks.
vegan hottness, in broken blocks of brown beauty,
and available right at the regular grocery store.
how could i not?
exactly, man.
what else is going on in there?
this:
-
3 1/2 cups a.p. flour (i went molto regular this time)
1/2 cup tapioca
1.5 sticks vegan butts
4T creamchee'
1 handful sugar
1.5 tsp baking kapowder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
-all that gets creamed together nicey nice,
and then we gotta add:
1/2 cup vegan yogurt
1 cup non-dairy milk
2 T lemon juice
1 small lemon's zest
allllll the choco chips
2 tsp vanilla
1 tsp lemon extract
-
that's when you fold and turn until the dough is firm.
cut that firm F*er in half;
and press each half into a 1" high circle.
the, y'gotta cut each flattened half into 6ths, pie-style,
and sprankle each one with big sugar crystals.
that's the rules,
and the rules are dope when it comes to making scones worth a sh!t.
you really want the hottness?
well, then freeze 'em for at least five minutes,
or for even longer if you'd like-
to let the gluten and the fat take it easy for a little bit,
then give 'em 20 minutes or so in a 400F degree oven.
.....
once these babies were ready,
i drizz'd all over their tops with deep dark chocolate ganache.
mmhmmm.
choco-lemon quickness was what i was after,
and i accomplished what i sought for.
lucky.
*
if you don't like scones,
you ain't about this vegan superfresh life.
hey man,
that's your choice.
i'm just sayin'-
scones may be the deciding vote between whether you're a worthy warrior poet,
or a weak-sauce waterbaby.
you know what side i'm taking.
***********
guys.
i feel the building pressure to make more art.
mmmm.
that's a thing.
even if it means NEVER sleeping.
i think i have to,
and it doesn't do me, or you, or anyone else we know any good
to just poop back and forth instead of getting off the pot
and putting the doo-doo to the paper, and making something worth a sh!t.
y'feel me?
what the heck am i waiting for?
that's what i woke up asking myself.
and the answer is?
i DONT KNOW.
ugh.
maybe today will be different.
maybe not.
what i can say for sure is:
it's all really happening,
and there should be much much much more of it before my eyes close every day.
that's the focus,
and that's no joke;
never quiet, never soft.....