Sunday, September 18

roll with the punches.

i stay pretty steady on my grind, guys.
that's the truth.
i'm always working,
and working,
and also working,
in between, i'm also fitting in a little MORE work,
and then maybe making something to eat.'s not that i work HARD,
at least not in terms of physical labor.
far from it.
it's that the performance aspects,
both in tactful, tactical, practical. tactile application of my professional services
and delivery of information/distraction/dissemination of ideas
in a conversational/coconspiratorial fashion,
place undue demands on my constitution.
i'm trying to fit in walk-ins between and around appointments...
i'm squeezing every last minute of pre-work puppy walking out of every single morning,
because i've got the big guilt about his incarceration all damned day, six days a week.
i'm racing home late, on the regular, to a dark sky and a demanding dog,
and the energy of a well-rested animal doesn't go all that great
with a dude who hasn't slept well in a dog's age.
and despite all of that.
and specifically to counteract the quick dinnertime noodles and stuff
on which i've been subsisting for many days in a row-
which has me wallowing in a deepening dearth of good photographic opportunities,
i've STILL been using my wide-awakeful woke-A* self-motivated morning times
to continually dominate the morning apple game like a sunovab!tchin' champion.
rules is rules, man.
y'feel me?
being pushed and pulled by time and circumstance is no reason to forgo
some sort of positive effort in the kitchen.
if i can't sexify that food up in style at 6 p.m.?
you'd best believe i'm gonna sexify the sh!t outta 6 A.M..
word up.
check the swirls-of-cinnamon-type teleport:

i mean it,
for real, though- C'MON!
apple-cinnamon rolls?!?!?
yeah, duders.
that's how it's done.
would you like to doo-doo that freaky sh!t your own self?
you would?
then do this-
3 cups a.p. flour
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1 T fast-as-F*acting yeast
2 tsp flaxmeal
a dash of cinnamon
1 tsp wheat gluten (definitely optional)
1 cup non-dairy milk, warmed to 100F degrees,
1 tsp vanilla,
and 1/4 cup melted vegan butterish in there, too.
mix it,
knead it,
and let it rise for 11 minutes,
all while your oven is preheating to 375F.
i chopped 2 LARGE apples up, into small but chunky blops,
and stewed them with 4 T brown sugar,
1 tsp vanilla
3 T maple syrup
cinnamon, ginger, and allspice.
until coated and softened just a bit.
let it cool enough that it won't melt all the other other filling you'll be adding in as well.
1/2 cup brown sugar
5 T vegan butts
cinnamon, ginger, allspice, and vanilla,
creamed until super-smooth and soft,
then spread out on the dough.
well, y'gotta roll it out into a rectangle, obvi,
on a floured surface, with a floured rollin' pin, so you don't eff it up.
first the sugar stuff, then the apple stuff, then a tight roll and tuck,
so that the seam is on the bottom.
it's a good idea at this point to refrigerate it for a bit, if you've got the time,
as the insides are gonna wanna ruin the day with warmth and wetness.
a little solidification will certainly save the day if it's going downhill too quickly.
i cut mine into 1/8ths. why?
because it was bulking like crazy, and getting out of hand.
i baked them in a rectangle pan,
on parchment,
which helped a whole bunch.
they got about 30 minutes of oven love,
and they came out so sexxxy lookin', and smellin',
and all that bubbly apple filling had gotten good and gooey,
and the overflow got all kinds of sticky on those buns, hun.
when they cooled,
you KNOW i hit 'em with that cinnamaple icing.
that's the stuff.
man-oh-MANdatory hottness is how i get it poppin' when i pop off in the morning.
too much is the right amount, guys.
i believe that from the bottom of my bottom-most rock-bottom-hittin' heart.
there are no free minutes anymore.
there are only expensive seconds to spend on expensive sh!t.
the price tag is high,
but i'll fit it in the budget,
and none of the good reasons to sleep will be able to budge it,
everything costs something,
and i'm spending my most valuable currency-
it's all really happening,
every minute is charged by the concentric clockwise spiral of a tightening gyre-
the coils of time are winding themselves up,
and the tension is palpable.
the air is electric,
and the feeling is one of pure lightning-striking viking berserker fury.
i s'pose we'll just have to wait and see how today goes, bros;
never quiet, never soft.....

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