Friday, September 30

m-f chunkin'.

i keep my cookie hand pretty strong in these hills, kids.
no foolin'.
a good cookie can turn a bad day around in two bites.
and when you know there's hard styles headed your way?
yeah, man-
those cookies had better be baking already,
no, really;
otherwise you're just setting yourself up for a readily preventable failure.
i'm no sucka, neighbors.
i know when the times are gettin' tough,
and the prospects for immediate relief are lookin' rough,
and a positive mental attitude won't be enough-
and that's exactly why i'm up here baking my biscuits off of my body, bro.
if i get one shot at improving my day,
y'all should better you bottom dollars that i'm 'bout to b!tchslap a batch of that
old time homemade hottness.
i doo-doo that cookie sh!t,
and it hasn't led me astray yet.
check the dark-brown-type teleport:

you want something like this in YOUR face?
easily done.
this is it:
1 cup dark brown sugar
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp vanilla
plus 6oz (3/4 cup) unsweetened applesauce
whisked until fluffyish, real nicey-nicely.
1/2 cup cocoa
1 1/4 cups rolled oats (the fat ones)
1 1/2 cup a.p. flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
8 oz. bittersweet chocolate chunks
that's all there is.
375F degree, 13 minutes, and done.
it's almost effed, up how hard it would to eff these up.
i like that.
they're chunky.
like, really chunky.
and hearty as heck. big bits of everything make for burly barbarian blocks of brown.
that's no joke.
a good cookie is a triumph,
and i feel like somebody should be erecting an arch in my honor for these F*ers.
i span my days in the throes of dog travel,
tattoo trials,
and lonely dinners,
followed by canine car ridin' togetherness with my one inescapable homeboy.
crabtree and i have a deal.
he comes cruisin' around these mountains with me,
and i, in turn, play some sort of A*-hole wargames with him,
for an hour or so, afterwards.
it's tiring, and it's tiresome, and it's probably hard on my tires, too-
we span time together, he and i, as best we can.
we're a couple of grossies, being gross, but not alone, and not idly, either.
we're actively participating in the time and space we're allotted,
making moves within the confines of an hour's ride in any direction.
we're exploring, and we're warring, and we're not ignoring any of it-
stay ugly, stay dope.
....that's the rules.
and we do our very damned best to adhere to that.
it's all really happening, friends.
that's sort of the whole point;
never quiet, never soft.....

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