BAMBOO RICE!!!!

dudes,
they put young bamboo juice IN the rice!!!
huh?
yeah, buddy.
bamboo rice.
for real.
i mean it.
chlorophyll and vitamin b just start bursting out at the seams, it seems,
and those short and sexxxy little grains get all the good stuff poppin' off
right from the mill and straight to the plate!
yup.
and apparently,
it's been a thing, elsewhere, for some time.
however,
i just found out about it.
so, shoutouts to globalization, kinda.
guys,
it's bamboo rice!
i feel like i can't type out how psyched i got about it-
...it's F*ing green, man!
and it tastes a little baby bit like green tea,
and it's kinda sticky,
and it's exactly what got me in the mood to make dinner,
even after a day of reallllly not giving a single sh!t about my suppertime prospects.
word!
bamboo rice.
who knew?
like, did you know about this?
and if you did, why didn't you tell me?
anyway,
i found it, i made it, it's green, and it's expert.
an when you've already got some fancy rice on hand,
you may as well rally,
get into the mood,
and activate some tasty vegan hottness for your face!
that's IT!
check the green-nutrient-machine-type teleport:

WU-TANG!!!!
you'd better believe that's crispy fried sesame tofu!
that's the crackle-skinned soft-centered sexiness that's got it going on.
huh?
well, OBvi,
that's broccoli and garlic sauce, too.
yup.
two terrific sauces, AND that fancy rice?!
too much is the right amount.
you know how i get busy, broski.
a bed of shredded purple and green cabbage,
for that fresh crawnchy texture and bite laid down the foundation of freshness
that all the rest of the stuff followed in form and function.
broccoli crowns are delicious,
and with onions and chilis, they're way better, and way spicier.
how do we top that?
with garlic sauce, silly,
and what's in garlic sauce?
c'mon.
you know it.
YEAH!
...so much garlic.
-
*
GARLIC SAUCE!
-
3 cloves crushed garlic;
GPOP in abundance, (approx 1 tsp ea. Garlic and Onion Powders)
2 T white vinegar;
3 T tamari;
1 T ho'sauce;
1 tsp red pepper flakes
1/4 tsp ginger;
1/4 tsp mustard;
black pepper;
1 tsp molasses;
1 tsp agave;
2 T warm water;
1 1/2 tsp thickener (i still use organic cornstarch, but you do you, boo)
-
whisk all that together,
and pour it all over that oily, sizzling onion, chili, and broccoli jaun.
cover it, and let it thicken over high heat for no longer than five minutes.
seriously.
it'll be the TRUTH, and quickly.
mmmmmmmmm.
if you don't take it to eleven with some cilantro sprankles?
i'm just gonna go ahead and say it:
you might really be an A*-hole.
that last little touch could be the difference between a tasty din-din
and a whole new flavor reality expanding your mind's eye forever.
so don't wimp out in the home stretch.
-
and that tofu?
undrained blocks of very firm bean curd are the best.
whenever you want the squish and the crust and the awesome to happen,
while the heat is ON and high and hot as heckfire,
that's the stuff you're gonna wanna use.
lava-temperature sesame oil,
and half a block of cubed 'fu,
with a dusting of GPOP, and after two sides are seared all golden,
a few tablespoonfuls of sesame seeds, too...
the, you'll need some expert SAUCE!
i got you, duders.
-
*
SWEET AND SOUR SESAME SAUCE!
-
2 T soy sauce;
2 T rice vinegar;
1 clove crushed garlic;
3 T agave;
black pepper;
1 tsp toasted sesame oil;
1 tsp ho' sauce;
GPOP;
1 tsp cornstarch, slurried right in there-
^^^^^^
it's so simple!
it's so delicious!
it goes perfectly with the sossamon seeds already in the pan,
and when the 'fu and the sauce get together,
your tongue is gonna be caught in an orgy of awesome immediately.
mmmmm.
it's scandalously tasty.
-
oh,
yeah,
i got cukes and micros and radishes poppin' off, too.
no big deal,
a few spicy, cool, and nutritious bits are always a nice touch at the end.
.....but,
that bamboo rice, tho!
how neat to have another 'nother component working in concert
with my main staples stirred right in, and activated all the way,
by that so-easy-being-green-style ricey nicety!!
i know i ate every last speck,
plus, everything again in a second helpful helping of that healthy sh!t, too.
i doo-doo that hungry hungry hippopotamus stuff.
'MORE good things, please'
that's what i was thinking, knowing full well that i had a second serving awaiting me.
haha.
***********
today is my buddy beau's berfday.
and it's kind of a big one-
for realises.
he's 30, now.
and that's a whole new decade of life!
the prefix of his age is the magic number for the next ten years!
and i'll tell you something, friends:
being involved in somebody's life from young adulthood,
into full-blown fully grown personhood,
is something i never take for granted.
he's an earnest, honest, straightforward, hardworking, motivated man,
and i'm a lucky human being to have a friend like that.
shoutouts to watching worth-a-sh!t sonsab!tches become something better.
so, happy berfday to that guy,
and here's to 30 more years of hanging out every four-to-six months;
never quiet, never soft.....