Wednesday, March 1


it's that time again, kids!
the calens,
the premier,
the numero uno square on the newly-flipped-over page
of a whole new 'nother month of magical mysteries an' that,
all of it,
first and foremost,
and it's happening right now!
i slept like sh!t,
which is to say that i got less than three hours of shuteye time,
but i awoke in fits and starts, and each and every time,
i said the magic mother-F*ing words.
rules is rules, man,
and i'm not about to forego the cultivation of benevolent coincidences,
nor will i eschew superstition in the face of fortuitous intentional invocation.
y'gotta say the thing.
i mean, c'mon,
i did it SO many times,
because i was worried that each consecutive rude awakening
would be the one where the good stuff was garnered,
and i sure as heckfire wouldn't wanna miss out.
what do we do when the clock strikes twelve?
we spit hot fire, and we say it out loud:
rabbit! rabbit!
summoning all the supernatural sauce,
or at least, being mindful of the passage of time,
and focusing our intent on the creation of positivity.
that's good for you.
oh, and yesterday,
to say a fond a farewell to the F*ery of february,
i baked up a neat new treat for my face.
i mean,
the months begin and end with sugary sweets,
and the bitter bits in between benefit form being bookended by baked greats!
what was i doing?
i was doing the best i could,
and what i came up with was a seriously delicious CHAI-AI-AI CAKE!!
check the teleport:

so much spice, so much citrus, so much flavor, so much of everything.
i really had my sh!t together, it seems.
it worked!
it really worked!
you want some?
you ca have some of mine,
but, really, if you're into it,
you should make some yourself.
here's how:
preheat that oven to 355F
cream up 1 cup of sugar,
with 1 stick of vegan butts,
1 1/2 T chai spice-
i'm not saying you have to use a few teabags....
but, if you did, you'd be ahead of the game-
if not,
you'll need cinnamon, cardamoin, nutmeg, cloves,
anise, ginger, black pepper, vanilla, and whatever else you're into.
as it is,
i used two 'bengal spice' tea-free bags in with the sugar,
1 tsp vanilla;
1/2 tsp exxxtra cinnamon;
more cardamon;
1/2 lemon zest;
dash orange extract;
dash lemon extract;
and 1/2 tsp salt.
creamed all together,
and the whipped in the stand mixer with
2 eggs' worth of egg replacer.
that had the fluff factor in full effect,
so that when i added the dry and the very wet,
it all stayed light and airy and amazing the whole entire time!!!
2 1/4 cups flour;
1/4 cup tapioca flour;
2 tsp bakey powpow;
1 tsp bakey soda;
the liquid portion was another 'nother exercise in measuring MORE.
1 cup of warmed soymilk,
with 2 exxxtra teabags of that chai spice.
it's so nice!
too much is the right amount,
so what else could i even have done?
all of it, whisked and whipped,
and put into a gtreased and floured springform loaf pan.
(which i'd been looking to use for a month)
and baked for just shy of 40 minutes, or until the cake tester comes out clean.
after a nice long dog walk,
my cooled-enough cake was ready to get iced.
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar,.
plus vanilla, orange, and lemon extracts,
lemon juice, and a splash of soy to achieve expert-level consistency,
drizzled heavy on top of that luscious rectangle, with zesty sprankles to boot!
how could that even get better?
you saw it already- crushed and toasted cashew chunks took it way up,
and then a little bit, over a perfect score.
february's end went to eleven in and out of the oven.
i love it when that happens.
it's been five years.
five years!
i think i was sniveling in a movie theater,
all alone,
as if that day was a teaser trailer for the future,
all weepy and woeful and worried,
wondering how anything could ever be any good ever again.....
and since then,
i have to say,
in the interest of true storytelling,
nothing has been even one little bit easier.
it's certainly been a whole lot more honest.
it's not called the ugly truth for no reason, man.
some people are worry-free go-with-the-flow kinds of guys.
not me, though.
i'm innately an against-the-grain upstream-struggling enemy of ease and comfort.
half a decade later,
i have to say: i'm a little tired.
on one of these days, maybe, i'll have a minute to rest,
but on none of these days has it ever been an option to give up.
i might be fighting for a lost cause,
or worse,
a forgotten and misbegotten one,
but i came here with a vision of woodsly goodsly Folk Life & Liberty,
and i'd hate to stop now.
five years.
five years.
five years.
it's a real F*ing stardust kind of day, i guess.
stuck on my eyes,
what a surprise
my brain hurts a lot.
that's all we've got;
never quiet, never soft.....

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