Monday, March 6


holy smokes and no jokes, folks-
i had myself a pretty F*ing expert dinner, if i do say so myself.
and i DO, dudes.
homemade ravioli,
homemade pesto,
homemade bread-
i rep a hard style in the social sense:
i'm hunkered in and homebound like a hobbled hermit,
but that hasn't stopped me from munching up on some heroic hottness
and taking my supper 'splosions to eleven as often as possible.
(which, all things considered, is very nearly always possible)
the pesto was preposterously well-appointed,
the RAVS were rant-and-rave-worthy,
and the sprankles?
(oh, yeah, man, there were plenty of spranx)
they were the sex, bruh-bruh.
i mean it.
alright, enough hype-
check the green-machine-type teleport:

you need this in your life,
you really need this in your face,
you need to know HOW to doo-do that freaky sh!t,
and happily for all of us,
i GOT you, b.
let's start with the RAV dough.
1/2 cup semolina flour;
1/2 cup a.p. flour;
1/4 tsp salt;
2 -3T olive oil;
1/3 cup hot water.
c'mon, now.
you can do that no probsies.
knead it all up for a few minutes,
and cover it with a damp towel,
and let it hang out while you do other things for a few.
roll it out on a well-floured surface, to >1/4" thick,
and get yourself a-cuttin' out some shapes.
i made thirty-six 1.75" circles,
for making eighteen incredible pouches of pure boomfire.
....and that's dope.
i usually moisten the edges of the bottom disc, for maximum adhesion,
and i insist on a nice tight crimp to keep all the filling contained, too.
exploded RAV action is not dope,
and we want all the stuff to stay in place for when we stuff it in our face, right?
hell yes, we do.
...and we have to fill 'em up with somethin'.
so, let's do that, too:
3 T homemade cashew-garlic chee';
that's 1 block drained firm tofu;
1 cup raw cashews;
handful of nootch;
black pepper,
1/4 cup olive oil;
3 cloves roasted garlic;
mustard powder;
cayenne pepper;
2 T lemon juice;
1 T soy sauce;
food processed until thick, smooth, and awesome.
2 T finely chopped spinach;
2 T fire roasted tomato flakes;
1 T caramelized shallot;
1 clove sauteed crushed garlic;
black pepper to taste;
stirred up and dolloped into those dirty little roundies in 1/4 tsp-ish increments,
you'll have yourself a full-blow taste explosion on your hands.
real talk,
boil them in very salty water until they float.
the they're basically ready to rock your socks.
they'll need some sauce,
but we already knew that, and we're getting there-
i dominated my whole plate in like five minutes,
and audibly exclaimed an 'awwwww' when i finished.
i mean,
i couldn't help it-
there were no more, and that was sad.
but what's even sadder was that i was still ravenous for pasta
after i'd already had a big bowl of mini penne,
with homemade chunky marinara right before hand.
there were more penne than there was terracotta bowl,
and i wouldn't wanna waste 'em, kiddo.
well, yeah, guys, i had more than one meal going on at the same time-
i hate wasting space and i super-dislike sitting idle,
i also made a baked macaroni jaun while i fired up the RAVS.
think about it, buddy-
baked penne is always gonna taste ten times more terrific the next day,
so why not eat it ALL the next day?!
i know!!
but you're gonna need some ravioli to hold you over until then, though,
so let's continue....
the pesto scene was off the charts.
that's a thing.
i have a chart, and this stuff was beyond beyond.
i'm pretty psyched on it,
for no other reason except that it is awesome.
pesto is the best-o, bro!
1/2 cup soaked and rinsed raw cashews;
1/2 cup raw sunflower seeds;
1/4 cup olive oil;
a generous GPOPification; (Garlic Powder Onion Powder, get with it, fella)
1/4 cup fresh basil;
1 1/2 cups loose baby spinach;
2 cloves toasted garlic, in oil;
3 T nootch (nutritional yeast, is you're not in the know)
salt and pepper to taste;
food processor activation is essential.
i s'pose you could mortar and pestle it,
but there's only so much rustico authentico i wanna eff with when i'm hungry.
it'll be thick.
that's ok,
because it'll work great on pizza later that way.
when it's time to toss in the 'olis,
i have a plan for making all of it jussssssst riiiiiiiiiiight-
drain the pasta, drop 'em in a pan with a big scoop of that green monster,
and splash in a bout 3 tablespoons of hot broth!
i used the last of my reserved seitan sauce, and it was the BEST!
the pesto thinned out to the perfect viscosity,
and coated all those dope diaperloads of delicious in lots of SAUCE!
that'd be a damned great meal if we left it alone right then and there.
of course,
that'd also make us a bunch of little diaperb!tches,
and those are not invited to break bread with your boy, y'heard?
we have to have MORE.
too much is the right amount.
that's the underlying unifying force that holds each meal together.
if you ain't effin' with molto,
you're efiin' up, and you should probably eff OFF.
wordimus prime....
that said,
there's spinach leaves underneath,
and some of those caramelized shallots on top.
i saved those baby basil tips for garnish,
and i fried up little sweety tomatoes face down in a generous glug of hot olive oil.
i'm glad i did too,
because they didn't just freak off the color, they turned up the taste a ton.
what else?
toasted sunflower seed sprankles!!!
i'm telling you,
this one was a serious success.
a standout breakthrough star in my mealtime sky.
...and i had some sourdough to sop up the last little green nibs and nubs, too.
that's how it's done.
anybody got an hour they can give me?
i need about four more every day,
and since that's the number i usually sleep for,
and that's not very much.
i think i'll stick to the small and meager slumber,
but can we maybe make the days a little longer?
i'm doing as much as i can fit in each day.
and it's not nearly enough.
i think that having the tattzap studio as my ONLY outlet for human contact
is skewing the results of my social interactions towards to low-end of the spectrum.
that's a genuine problem.
where do i go to meet new and interesting people?
oh, right.
i don't.
i go home to crabtree, and that terrible terrier and i hang out all night.
maybe if i wasn't always working otherwise,
i'd feel better about being accessible and available afterwards.
it just seems like such a d!ck-move, getting home, giving him his supper,
and putting him back in the lonely zone while i go out, and to what end?
hanging out?
nothing gets accomplished when you're us hanging out,
and i really feel compelled to get more done.
as it is,
there's an ever-lengthening list of to-do's i've gotta do,
and the few bare snowless spots of earth
on the grounds of the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress
only remind me of how much raking didn't get done last fall.
chores are getting compounded and compiled while i walk dogs
and work on skin and blood an' that.
how do i do all of it?
i'm serious.
how do i do all of it?
because i'm currently not succeeding.
four more hours, guys.
that's where i'm at;
never quiet, never soft.....

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