Wednesday, March 29


for the second time in under a week,
some new rice has really brought the exotic hottness to my dinnertimes.
you know there's all sorts of grains-
long, short, and medium.
and all sorts of colors, too.
i mean,
we've all had that fancy long grain black wild rice.
that's a thing.
probably when your ma made some pilaf back in the late nineties,
which your dad thought was too uppity,
and put the kibosh on with the quickness.....
in these wondrous modern times,
that old stale previous rice action is just some everyday regular-level business.
that's a thing.
if we're intent on living in the future,
then we need to discuss this jaun i effed around with last night:
dudes, it's called 'forbidden rice'!!
naturally, i liked it right away.
little fat stumps of sticky, inky, black staining sexxxiness,
ready to go to work for that supper-style activation.
that's real.
and i'm glad, too.
it has great flavor,
it has great texture,
and it's blacker than BLACK!
i s'pose that my yellow coconut curry could very well've been a success
without all of that special edible ebony excellence,
but it certainly wouldn't have looked as cool.
.....and ugly food is still not invited.
i made yellow curry.
mostly because it's the mildest one,
and after a loooong day of tattooing my buddy beau,
who haaaaaates the hot and spicy stuff,
because he is a delicate gossamer spiderweb of a man,
i cooked us up a recuperative meal to mend his battered skin
after all that terrorizing was finally finished.
it was quick;
it was easy;
there was a lot of it at first,
and absolutely not even one speck remaining when we rose from the table.
have a look at what i came up with, via the teleport:

that's wu-TANG curry, for those who couldn't tell.
the black rice was cooked and rested,
to let the glutinous goodness get all soaked and steamy.
while that was doing it's thing,
i had that curry simmering away.
you want to make something like it?
here's how:
3 T coconut oil;
1 small rough cut onion;
1 small skin-on cubed potato;
1 disced-up medium-sized peeled carrot;
2 cloves crushed garlic;
1 clove sliced garlic;
1 small asian purple-skin white-flesh sweet potato, diced;
simmered for about three minutes or so,
and combined with:
1 T rice wine vinegar;
1 T sriracha;
1 can full-fat coconut milk-
1 T turmeric
1 tsp smoky paprika;
a liberal GPOP application;
1/2 tsp ground coriander seed;
thai basil;
1 tsp toasted cumin powder;
1/2 tsp ground ginger-
let that bubble for five or so minutes,
and add in:
2 T soy sauce;
1 cup broth.
2 stalks of chopped celery-
allow all of that to baby-boil until it's nice and thick,
then squeeze in 3 T of lime juice!
that's the stuff.
and then you're ready to rock and roll yourself a bowl of that burly barbarian bloppage!!
the add-ons and mix-ins are essential to the success of the dish, duders.
real talk.
a huge scoop of rice in the center of the bowl is a good idea.
add some shredded purple cabbage,
and a handful of mung bean sprouts for crawnch. along the rim.
we dropped down a few wings of miniature super sweet peppers,
and i used some jalapeno slices to heat up the mild coconuttiness, too.
yum yum YUM.
that would have been pretty hearty, but it just wasn't enough, bro.
no way.
too much is the right amount.
that's why there's half a block of smoky fried tofu on there, as well.
slow-fried in a little oil, with smoked paprika, ginger, GPOP, black pepper,
and a little bitty zipzap of sugar, for caramel crisping on the edges.
.....daaaaaaamn, that's a tasty bite!
is THAT all?
still no.
rules is rules.
and it can't be over with if there's no sprankles, man.
don't be dumb.
scallion and cilantro complete the look, and the taste.
upgrades are never a bad idea in the curry world.
no jokes.
and what about that bread???
oh, yes, kids.
that bread turned the whole meal up to eleven on every level.
1 cup of flour;
1 1/2 tsp baking soda;
1/4 cup crushed coconut;
3 T medium unsweetened coconut flakes;
dash of salt;
2 T vegan butterish;
1/3 cup + 2 T hot water;
kneaded, rested, divided into 4ths,
patted flat,
and fried in a very hot pan, with melted butter, until both sides are golden,
and the whole house smells like futuristic fresh-to-death biscuits.
they're puffyish, they're butteryish, they're coconuts about flavor-
i'm just sayin'- they're expert.
ill nan-naan-style flatbreads for your F*ing face,
and also for dipping in all the wet curry magic.
you are going to want to get on that, guys.
it's too dang good to miss out on.
and now, it's wednesday.
my day to do all the stuff i've been too busy to do
during the rest of the week while i'm at work.
what's gonna happen?
or, at least, if not every-,
then definitely something.
it has to.
crabtree and me.
that's who's hanging tough today.
we'll be out there, doing what we do,
which is to say,
making fun out of duty,
and making fun of all the dumb doodie that the woodsly goodness considers cool.
we make our own kind of adventures,
and we take our own kind of time.
he's my dude, y'know?
and together,
we span time and space like a pair of just-alike battle beasts.
he barks less and bites more,
i operate on the inverse.
but, we're a team,
and we're doing it as hard as we can until the sun goes down,
and even then, we'll probably be at it for even longer;
never quiet, never soft.....

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