Sunday, March 19


how much do i love treats?
well, what's the most?
double that, 
and we're about halfway there...
strawberries, dudes.
strawberries are good.
and these butt-kickin' strawblers i have on hand,
although they are frozen, 
have been consistently firmer and sweeter and better 
than those that've come before.
strawberries are cute.
they look like hearts, man.
i used whole ones in my most recent bakery magic,
and it got double-thumb-up reviews from the guys and gals who partook of it.
check it out:
with hearts and flowers on top,
and raw sugar sprankles, too.
i don't ever make these things so i can be bummed out.
i do it because i love to,
because i am compelled to,
and because i want to continually improve my ever-expanding skillsets,
to include, and upgrade, and evolve into a better version of myself.
that's no joke.
i want to do everything creative, communicative, compassionate,
articulate, artistic, aesthetic, and expert.
that's the goal i aim at every damned day, duders.
anything else is diapery doo-doo butter, 
and is NOT invited to my makeout parties.
real talk.
i want you guys to make this pastry dough.
i did things a bit differently, but it worked out well-
1 1/2 cups flour;
10 T butts;
pinch of salt;
1 tsp vanilla;
1/3 cup raw sugar;
2 T organic cornstarch;
2 T lemon juice;
non-dairy milk added in by the tablespoonful,
until there's just enough to make it stick together.
wrap and rest it and roll it out, as usual.
it's almost a cookie, really,
but better, and crispier, and also it has a little special something that really
put all those berries in their place.
the filling?
couldn't be simpler.
12 oz whole strawberries;
1/4 cup powdered sugar;
1/2 tub vegan creamchee';
2 T lemon juice;
1 tsp vanilla;
3 T organic cornstarch stirred in from the start, to prevent clumps,
whisked and warmed on medium-low heat, 
until it's all one big happy molten mass of momentous magic.
cool it enough so as not to melt your dough when they touch each other,
cut your shapes, spread your stuff, and bake that sweet little lovely 
at 400F for 20 minutes.
you've landed in tart town, and you;re the big winner.
hooray for treats.
the tattoo zone is F*ing crazy busy at the moment.
i guess that's the catch, really.
poor people stay poor by keeping me crushed under a constant press of 
their family-tribute tattoos.
on the ones,
child/spouse/grandparent/ family whatnots and what-have-you's
are rampant during income tax return season.
i guess if you live in the mountainous rural blue-collared woodsly goodness,
you reallllllly love your family,
and need to make sure that your windfall of released loot
is turned into a tribute to all those folks you see every day.
that withheld and returned treasure can NOT be invested in anything other than
more birthstone-colored butterflies, 
more infinity-themed faith-based images, 
and more letters doing double-duty as numerals.
don't get me wrong-
i am very grateful for the influx of income, as it is a temporary increase,
and a welcome boost after a long, cold, expensive winter.....
it's just that i could live a long time without doing another tattoo of a pocketwatch,
with the time of birth/death/ wedding on those hands.
living in the remote hills of the north has so many things that are great.
tax return season, as we call it, is NOT one of them.
shoutouts to everybody getting something tattooed 
that is very meaningful to them, though.
they have to live with it, and as long as they leave,
preferably happy,
i promise to put their loot to a use proportionately more rewarding
than the time lost performing the service. 
i do tattoos.
and i'll do whatever you want.
i chose to be that guy.
and i left the rest in the rearview a long time ago.
that doesn't mean a month of indistinguishable days doesn't take it's toll.
and that's why i need MORE tarts and sh!t.
what else could wash the taste of day-laboring out of my mouth better
than a luxurious slice of pure delights?
i get home and let all that for-profit languishing catalyze into cultivated craftsmanship.
in pots and pans and trays and skillets.
it's IN there.
i'd love to let it loose at work,
but if work finances the rest of it?/
it's all still really happening,
but i'm still curating the sections that i find more interesting.
maybe i'll write more about tattooing once the repetition of this 
snowy gulag of overlapping and monotonous task-taking is done.
i guess we'll find out,
but in the meantime,
go make yourself a strawberry creme tart.
you'll be glad you did;
never quiet, never soft.....

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