Tuesday, March 28


day in, day out,
day after day,
with days turned to weeks turned to months turned to years,
i've been tattooing any, every, and all of y'all.
that's my thing.
that's what i do.
that's the move i make most often.....
i can't help but notice that while i am still a versatile and capable tattooer,
it's not tattooing that brings me a sense of satisfaction.
i mean, sure, i'm pleased that i'm not making a ruin of anyone's skin,
and i'm not too bummed out at the freedom that my non-traditional, 
unconventional interactive art and idea exchange provides at every turn...
i do a lot of it, dudes,
and i do it more, and for longer, than i've yet to do anything else.
that said.
i feel the need to forego humility for a few seconds and just say it:
i am one F*ing hell of a treat-makin' baker, too.
i'm not bragging.
i promise.
i'm griping, actually.
imagine finding a way to demonstrate all of the intention, and affection, 
all of the care, and compassion, and creativity that is restrained. and tamed, 
and contained within bounds by even the most liberal and unrestrictive of jobs,
and then add the descriptor: vegan. 
you'll watch in disappointment as more than half of these mutha-effers 
avoid even trying a slice for fear of catching a mild case of conscience/.
treats versus tattoos, neighbors.
it's an exclusively internal conflict, of course,
because i do, in fact, do both.
i bake less than i tattoo, but i bake a lot.
i share it more than it is appreciated, but i still share it all.
it's all really happening:
the fast-and-loose furious tattzap improv show,
the not-as-fast-just-as-loose ferocious bakeshop improv show.
there's a correlative overlap between the two,m
and each one fills in the blanks left by the other.
yins and yangs, bitters and sweets, all of it,
is made possible by doing two things where one isn't cutting it.
too much is the right amount.
seems like that applies to careers as well as anything else.
okay, then.
here's how i bridged that gap most recently.......
check the teleport:
everything i'd have done to make a cookie,
plus soymilk.
a crumbly, soft, chewy, gooey, chip-chock'd chunk of pure awesomeness.
wordimus prime.
i'll confess something, friends-
those chocolate covered pretzels are store-bought.
i impulse purchased them at trader joe's on my way to connecticut,
and needed to implement them in something before i ate the whole bag by itself.
i LOVE chocolate covered pretzels,.
that's a fun fact about your buddy albie rock, for future reference.
everything else is made up on the spot.
the frosting was left over from the cupcakes i took with me
for my daughters down south.
the cake was expert.
and was basically a cookie, like i said.
here's how you can create your very own:
1 cup sugar;
1 stick vegan butter;
1 tsp vanilla;
1/2 tsp salt;
^ creamed, of course, and whisked up wth:
3/4 cup applesauce;
2 1/4 cups flour;
2 tsp bakey powder;
1 tsp bakey soda;
1 cup mini chocolate chips
and 1 cup non-dairy milk.
take a big ol' spatula, and stir the sh!t out of it.
by hand.
i know.
we want cookie crumbles, not airy fairy dust, duders.
try to keep up.
pour that business in a greased springform pan, 
which i really like to use, exclusively, it seems, for single-layer cakes,
and bake it for 35-45 minutes at 355F.
in this instance, 
i felt i HAD to activate a handful or two of exxxtra choco-chippy sprankles.
and, real talk, i do NOT ever regret added activation, not one little bit.
cooled off, frosted with that sweet, and sexy, 
but unfortunately less-firm\-than-i'd-have-liked vanilla creme,
and those awesome pretzels, too.
that's it.
so simple.
but, so goooooooooooooood.
i like to bake.
i like to tattoo.
i more frequently feel the intrinsic rewards of baking,
but i sure do love those stacks on stacks that come from tattooing.
i doubt i'd be able to do either without the other.
as time has worn on,
they've interwoven themselves inextricably into my daily routine.
this is it.
staying sorta happy-sad always,
doing the things i love/hate the most.
that's how it works, i think,
if you're the type of person prepared to look honestly 
at the world as it unfolds around you.
this is it, neighbors.
over and over, round and round,
sugar and blood and ink and flour.
fire and lightning, heat and electricity.
it's ALL really happening.
i don't think i say that enough;
never quiet, never soft.....

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