Friday, March 3


muffin batter in a cake pan. that.
it's good for you.
i've been feelin' the fruit scene pretty hard these days.
that's no joke.
it doesn't have to be a blarpity blop or glop of gooey pectin-packed pits and peels,
i need a little touch, a hint, a taste of that fruity freshness for my face.
instead of making blueberry muffins,
which i love,
i made muffin cake, with blueberry frosting,
which, it turns out, i also love.
there's a lot of love to go around,
and this treats was deserving of the largest share.
...which, in turn, made it much harder to share.
but, i still did,.
because generosity is in my infinite nature,
even when a spewing spate of entitled and underappreciative trough-lickers
are tuning up poorly cut slices, and sucking the frosting off like insects.
i'm prepared to provide,
but i will not refrain from judgement.
without the bitter the sweet is just not as sweet,
and the oppposite-
with sneering disdain, the gesture of sharing is diminished.
what can i say?
i rep a hard style,
but i've got a gentle hand when it comes to cake, kids.
real talk.
check the teleport:

if you don't think that's sexxxy, you might not know what that means...
purple is what you get from blueberries.
i know, it's dumb, but, damn, duders, it looks dope.
crushed bloobs in their own juice.
that's what this knobbly crumbly muffiny cake was craving,
and the whole thing works.
it works hard.
you want some of this?
it's waiting for you at the studio.
you'll have to make it yourself.
good news, though, bro-
i'll tell you exactly how to make it yourself-
1 stick (8T )of vegan butter;
1 cup light brown sugar;
1/2 tsp salt;
2 tsp vanilla;
^creamed, and mixed well with:
3.4 cup unsweetened applesauce.
from there,
we're gonna need to add:
2 1/4 cups flour;
1/4 cup tapioca flour;
(it's how the pudding-in-the-mix effect happens without pudding in the mix)
2 tsp baking powder;
1 tsp baking powder;
1 cup non-dairy milk + 2 T lemon juice.
stir stir stir until it's all one fluffy nubbly batter.
divide it in half between two 9" greased and floured cake pans
and bake those at 350F for twenty five minutes.
i was making blueberries for a tart, anyway,
so i reserved 1/3 cup of their pectin-packed juice,
with a little residual pulped bloob for good measure.....
added to 4 T vega butts,
and 2 cups of powdered sugar,
with a dash of lemon extract, and vanilla,
there was a perfectly sweet, pleasantly fruity filling ready to go.
and that pastry tip i've been working with these days looks so nice.
i mean, i'm not a professional, at all,
but i'm very pleased with those varying swirl constellations on top.
the icing is a softish creamchee'-based jaun.
2 cups of powpow, plus 3 T butts, plus 3 T creamchee',
and just a splash of non-dairy milk.
it's spreadable, and it's lovely, but it's verrrry sweet,
so i'd be careful if i was a little diapery b!tch!
too much is the right amount, man.
don't be scared, be brave, and go into glycemic arrest if you have to,
but experience the fullest flavor and texture that this muffiny two-tier triumph provide!!
there are also sparkle sugar sprankles on top.
that's a thing.
it's a little hard to see clear specks of glitter like that,
but they add jussssssst the right touch of crunch to that creamy top.
it doesn't always work out this well,
but when it does,
i'm relieved, and i'm happy,
and i'm proud to be able to show and tell.
not every story is a good one,
especially if they're all true stories, told truly.
that's what this is,
and that's all i've got.
muffins for breakfast, cake for brunch,
muffin cake for both,
and all of it, all the time, is unfolding from this point outward.
like i said,
i've still got some at the studio,
but it won't last long......
i'd make the trip, or i'd make one at home,
but i'd hate it if you missed out,
so don't;
never quiet, never soft.....

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