Saturday, March 18


soda bread.
irish soda bread.
what could be more opposite sourdough on the bread making spectrum?
....matzo, probably.
soda bread is about as unlike the process of breadmaking i've been employing
as i think i can deal with...
and i'm likely not to get into it again until next year.
here's the thing-
irish soda bread is a real F*ing bummer.
and that's why even when i DO make it, i don't.
not really, anyway.
i gotta freak it off with a little bit of an upgrade, or i'm not interested.
rules is rules,
and holiday celebration times are a thing around here...
so i s'pose activating some site-specific situationally-appropriate soda bread stuff
is a pretty good idea.
i'm not making a big nubbly knobby boule, bro.
i did a thing,
and i'm much much happier tahat i took it in that direction.
soda bread scones.
check the teleport:
black tea, raisins, cranberries, and toasted caraway seeds!
they aren't that dry and musty old soda situation,
these tasty tidbits are big, buttery, burly surprise bombs.
one bite, and kaPOW, you've got flavor all upside your whole face!.  
a breakfast treat that kinda reps it I.R.A in the eighties style.
but these scones, though!
they're great.
i think you might want to munch 'em up with even more butter,
or maybe even cashew cream,
or jam.
yeah. jam would be tight, too.
mainly, i do believe i made something worth a sh!t,
and that made me pretty pleased with my productivity from the jump-up.
would you like to know more?
here's the blueprint, buddy.
enjoy it:
1/2 cup strong brewed irish breakfast tea,
plus 1 tsp loose tea leaves, 
plus 1/2 cup soymilk,
plus 2 T lemon juice, set aside at room temperature.
preheat your oven to 410F.
in a large bowl,
combine 4 cups flour, sifted with 3 T cornstarch,
2 tsp baking soda;
3/4 tsp salt;
1 T baking pow-powder;
1/2 tsp cream of tartar;
1 emptied teabag's worth of dry irish breakfast tea; 
(i used trader joes' because it it without question the best one)
2 punches of sugar (~1/4 cup);
1 stick + 2 T vegan butterish (cold);
using a pastry cutter, 
combine all that into a crumbly flour,
stir in 1 cup raisins,
1/2 cup chopped dried cranberries,
and 1 1/2 tsp toasted caraway seeds-
add the tea/'milk mixture, and stir until just combined,
then begin a sequence of folds and turns-
halve it, turn it, etc, so the long way gets flipped over on itself,
over and over and over and over,
until it's all one thick, firm, layered dough.
...i tossed some raw sugar sprankles onto the outside,
which embedded in the surface as i hand-pressed the dough to a flat 1" thickness.
because MORE awesomeness is a great idea,
and soda bread is pretty budget, so i wanted to enhance the chances of hottness
for this sconely version in any way i could.
i cut out 9 fat circles, at 3" each,
and i even basted each of those babies with melted butterish, too,
before freezing them for five minutes prior to baking. makes a difference, man,
try it, you'll see...
bake them for 22 minutes,
and you'll have yourself something expert to eat.
that's no joke.
i wore green.
nobody else did.
i worked all day.
nobody else did.
i made treats.
nobody even ate them.
it's a strange land, 
this place where i live and work.
i love the woodsly goodness, i do,
but it's the constituents that mess it up.
who eve are these people?
non-participants and non-starters.
i need more competent, capable, concentrated, concerned, co-conspirators
to collaborate on my elaborate Folk Life formulas.
this insulated isolation chamber i call home  could use an influx
of externally-motivated intrinsically-rewarding warrior poetry
to recharge the batteries and arm the batteries 
of our literal and figurative energy reserves, armories and arsenal.
what i mean is-
it's so disappointing when you're explaining something to a roomful of blank stares.
or worse,
when you get the thunderous sound of silence when you unveil big news
to the people you wish could understand....
i'm honest-
i just don't think they got it.
i need more experts to interact with, man,
i looking for connections with lightning-striking vikings,
with berserker barbarian battle bards,
with scalding scolding scribes and skalds.
i want to say more things and have to explain less things.
i want somebody to eat my scones with.
hard styles, 
and unrealistic expectations are what's on tap for today, i guess;
never quiet, never soft.....

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