Thursday, November 3


last week, i made some pretty flippin' expert tarts.
flat ones.
like, tiny edible plates.
...and they were delicioso deluxe,
in fact,
i think they may have been among the finest treats i've made in an age,
and i am just realizing i've never even told you anything about them.
i'm here now, and i'll do what i can to remedy that.
check the teleport:

because they are in love and they can't be kept apart.
3" circles of my custom pastry dough, yo-
with fork-pleated edges,
for an especially crispy, flaky, delicate yet substantial perimeter!
that's the real sh!t, neighbors.
and after i cut out a dozen and more of the bottoms,
i got heavily into making something dope to put on top.
like what?
like, how about peanut buttery creamchee' fudge?
that'll do it.
a gooey goober glob sounds gross,
so, maybe let us not call it that.
but anyway,
here's how it went:
half a tub of creamchee'
half a cup of powdered sugar
half a cup of peanut butter
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 cup arrowroot
in a pot, on medium-low heat,
until it all blended together all smooth and lovely
that's IT.
so simple, but so good.
a dollop of that on each circle,
and then a handful of big fancy deluxxxe dark semisweet chocolate chunxxx,
and into the oven they went,
at 415F, for roughly 20 minutes, or so, until the golden goodness was clearly visible,
and the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress smelled like a transcendent triumph
from beyond the lands of men and beasts.
(that's a pretty good aroma, buddy)
when they were cool enough to F* with,
they got the ganache, because drizzly chocolate is the illest like biggie smalls.
that's right.
the illest.
yeah. you don't listen to old hip-hop?
you might wanna start doing that.
it's good for you.
after the ganache, i gave 'em the old double frosting jauns.
peanut buttery creaminess,
which is a surprisingly heavy endeavor when you don't measure anything,
and put much too much peanutty butts in with the sugs.
so, after the torturous trial-and-error of adding more of everything in increments
until the consistency resembles frosting and not cement,
(and the reason for considerate measuring seems obvious)
i added cocoa to the remainder,
and made some seriously sweet-A* choco-pb frostiness..
peanut butter fudge, chocolate chunx, ganache, double frosting....
.....that's a lot going on in a 3" area.
naturally, that meant i needed one more thing:
a frosty kiss of kapowpow sprankles.
too much is the right amount.
i'm never kidding when it comes to excessive, obsessive, superfancy unnecessariness.
that's the path i'm on, and no matter how much it meanders,
it always leads to MORE.
like a dyslexic imperial tribune talking about his realm:
all roads lead to MORE.
i like it.
my day off was spanned in increments of dog walking and wheezing.
my lungs have been playing host to an infestation of suffocation,
and all this long-walk-in-the-cold sh!t isn't helping.
not one little teeny tiny bit.
healing has been a relatively tedious process.
i pulled out the stitches this morning,
and yes,
that's gross.
the days are too densely packed together, with far far too much to do to go see
some naughty little nurse, and wait for her to do it.
word up.
i've got a to-do list that doesn't include sick time,
and i've got those expenses that don't factor in any non-existent sick leave or vacation pay.
i work because that's what i DO.
and working, and working out, just don't seem to be working out like they used to.
i'm old, and busted, broke, broken, sore, and a sore sight for squinty eyes-
it's all really happening,
and all o it is a decidedly harder style than i'd have hoped for,
it's november,
and everybody knows this whole entire month is an A*-hole.
that's no lie,
because truth tellers can never stop;
never quiet, never soft.....

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