Friday, November 11

SCONES for breakfast and lunch.

as a long dead guy said about a newly dead guy:
give me a leonard cohen afterworld,
so i can sigh eternally.
i'm glad i had some scones to soothe my sad sighing,
and support my sagging shoulders.
you need a fat triangle of flaky, crumbly layer-after-layer tiered
flavor and texture to continue on apace with your day.
that's real.
and i happily had that kind of hottness prepared for myself, from breakfast.
i bake bread on thursdays.
i do.
wednesdays are for bulk fermenting,
and folding the dough in on itself to trap air and stretch gluten chains;
wednesday nights are for cold proofing all the well-developed yeasty sourness;
and thursdays are for ovenly lovin' all the loaves.
the thing of it is-
the oven is already as hot as heck,
and it seems a waste of all the boomfire to just preheat it and beat it.
so, as a proper usage of intermediate high-heat hotbox combustion,
i try to also fire up something that gets roasted at 400F or more.
in this case,
i made a batch of scones.
scones are pretty flippin' rad.
and when you do 'em right,
all the folding and flipping and folding again, and turning, and flippin' and folding,
becomes an exercise in creating a damascus-style
cross-grained excalibur of edible awesomess.
check the teleport:

you wanna make these at your house?
i'm gonna tell you how:
preheat that oven to 410F
3 1/2 cups flour. (whatever you'd like, really. i used a.p. for all of mine)
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 cup sugar
1 sick plus 3 T vegan butterish
3-4 T vegan creamchee
~1/2 cup tapioca starch
2 tsp bakey powpow
1 tsp bakey soda
-cut all the fat coarsely into the flour,
and then add:
3/4 cup raisins
1/2 cup dried cranberries
1/2 cup chocolate chips
the zest of one tangerine (they're so sweet, man!)
1/2 cup non-dairy yogurt
1 cup soymilk
2 tsp vanilla
a dash or two of cinnamon
loosely stir all that together, and then flour up your hands,
so you can gently knead, fold, turn 90 degrees, flip, fold, turn, etc.
over and over until it's all about as well blended and stacked as it can get-
i usually find myself dong it 30something times?
you need a light hand, though, to keep it from getting too tough or too mushy.
i believe in you, though.
i cut it in half,
,make two inch-ish high circles, and slice that into slivered sixths.
that's a dozen wedges of wonder,
which are all rubbed with raw sugar sprankles.
rules is rules,
and the spranx are key here.
y'gotta freeze 'em for at least five minutes,
to get the fats to solidify a bit,
so that when you bake 'em up, for about 20 minutes,
the melty factor of steamy butts creates flakes,
and not cracks.
go make some scones, neighbors.
they're good.
they're especially good when bad news is on the schedule,
whether it be a four-year farce,
or a goodbye to that forlorn chelsea-hotel hallelujah.
it's ALL really happening,
and we need nourishment to fortify us for the time ahead,
with the big bad bossman in charge, of your job, or your country, or whatever-
or without the subtle good of a deep-voiced desperado.
i'm still here in the woodsly goodness,
doing my best to be the best.
that's all there ever really is to do,
and i'm doing it as hard as i can;
never quiet, never soft.....

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