Monday, November 14


i don't always have a ridiculous feast for supper.
i just have a giant quantity of something simple.
for example,
last night i had a block of cubed tofu,
dry-fried and seasoned with nutritional yeast, black pepper, and GPOP
(garlic powder and onion powder for those of you new to this place)
with sauteed onions, and broth-braised soy-glazed broccoli and brussels,
all over rainbow radiatore ruffled pasta.
straightforward, fifteen minutes of cooking,
and kaPOW- now i'm already eating already...
so, did i take a picture?
and why not?
because i tossed it all in a bowl like a campfire hobo,
gave it a shake to get it mixed together,
and tore into it like an unholy terror in about two seconds.
sometimes, that's what's up, man.
other times, however,
there's special consideration given to preheated oven temperatures
and convection corrections, with great conviction,
and considered diction regarding the right way to prepare plant proteins.
and then there's the procedural time give over to caramelized onions,
and fried garlic sprankles,
and garnishes and sh!t.
when it's time to get busy with some bakery-fresh big action,
berserker barbarian battle-beast style,
you'd best believe i bring the thunder and the lightning akin to a pagan pantheon.
i'm just sayin',
by now, i hope you know i don't play when it comes to pizza.
check the quad-quality-four-horsemen-of-pizza-pie-type teleport:

on the real, i subdivided my already individually proofed pizza doughs,
and made double the number, at 60% the size.
too much, or too many, or too F*ing expert.
that's the way i needed it to be,
and that's the way it went.
the question is:
am i the kind of man who'll eat a quartet of personal-sized pizzas,
stacked with sauce and chee', and loaded up with exxxtra toppings?
what are you?
 an A*-hole?
don't be dumb.
OBVIOUSLY, i tuned 'em all up.
i'd have shared, and gladly,
but i seem to be operating at high-hermit levels of solitude this week.
that's cool.
more pizza beats more people every time.
clockwise from the top left,
* i had that grilled leek, spicy ho'sauced black-pepper seitan, strip, tomato jaun,
with fresh cilantro sprankles,
for a little cool refreshment in between bites of that high-heat hottness.
* there's homeamde hot hungarian smoked-paprika pepperoni, caramelized onions,
a little seare-up broccoli, and some scallion spranx on the next one.
* how about that purple brussies, tempeh bacon, onion, and tomato joint right there?
that's a classic Folk Life & Liberty Fortress staple, just purpleized a bit.
* last, but not least, the veggie special: spinach, broccoli, onions, and leeks,
and fried garlic sprankles for the win.
i had a pizza party for one, again.
that's become the new normal, really.
and the thing of it is- i do so love a pizza pie for my eye,
with or without amore,
under the auspicious, yet vicious,
big blue beams of silvery moonlight,
i'm conjuring the supermoon magic,
throughout these frosty NOvember mornings,
and sailing on the sh!tty whipping winds all day, every day.
that means that i get all the pizza, and i get whatever i want on it.
there's no democracy in my home, homies.
it's a fortress, and fortresses have lords,
and lords issue decrees and edicts,
and evict anybody who contradicts the spoken/written word
that is sovereign law within the realm that is reigned over by the boss.
in other words:
rules is rules.
when i'm here, cooking in the kitchen of this woodsly goodsly redoubt?
I'M the boss.
and i s'pose everybody else has already immigrated elsewhere,
or sought asylum, or been placed in an asylum,
after their tenure as members of this last homely household in the hills.
it's only good to be king when you're not the sole occupant of your kingdom.
at least i've got crabtree:

he's the dissident voice among the populace,
and also the most eager to overthrow me on an hourly basis.
keeps me guessing, and stressing, and constantly addressing the blatant revolt
of a terrible terrier terrorist's attempts to turn the tables.
the good news is-
he doesn't eat what i eat,
and that means more pizza for me.
that's a bright spot second only to the daylight-caliber rays that kept me up all night
beaming in from every window in the place,
and shining so bright, i was confused as to the time.
that's natural splendor, and also, an inconvenient illumination,
offering night vision, but no insight,
and also no sleep.
it's all really happening.
that's the whole (what even is the whole) point.
dogs and pizza and moons and work and work and work,
and no play, unless it's with dough,
and not the movie-check kind-
this is What Is, and i suspect
that there's a better fate than this slow death,
everywhere anywhere elsewhere....
i mean,
as long as there's an oven, wherever i am,
there will still be pizza, at least;
never quiet, never soft.....

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