Wednesday, November 23


y'better stick to these ribs.
that's what i told my dinner last night,
as the whipping whirling wild wind outside
blustered and blew it's way into my drafty old haunted house.
damn, but was i ever as cold as witch boobs yesterday...
and that's colder than cold, neighbors,
the only solution was to stock up on my starches and fats,
and hope that the heavyweight wonders in my bellyhole
could withstand the tree-felling frostbiting winds of war and change
that blew in a lot of very bad-to-the-bone-breaking marrow-chilling
westerly woe to this woodlsy goodness.
good news, though, dudes-
my dinner kept me comfy, and warm,
and the kitchen benefited from a 460F degree oven's attentions, too.
if you don't get down with english-ish food?
on the whole, that's actually very undertsandable-
beige boiled blops and mushy everything else is not exactly haute cuisine-
pot pie is a big boomin' blast of burly british achievement,
and i for one love the sh!t outta that sh!t.
here's the thing, though-
i had some sourdough semolina jauns at the end of their realistic usefulness,
and i can't disrespect the pizza game lest i offend the watchful
(and vengeful)
ghosts of pizza past present and future-
so i had to get into some new territory,
and do a thin-crust sourdough deep-dish open-top potful of power and glory.
i'm about that life, without any hesitation.
check it out, via the teleport:
pot pie comfort,
thanksgiving pizza,
and a F*ing ton of homemade gravy.
get on my level, here, kids.
this is some serious hottness for the hungry homeboys and girls of planet earth.
real talk.
i got those roasted potatoes,
two of 'em, cubed up pretty small,
both of which cooked in olive oil and GPOP while the oven preheated.
that's smart usage of time and heat and energy.
i browned half a big ol' white onion,
and half a fat carrot sliced up,
and a cup and half of cauliflower-
they were all hanging out in butterish, with GPOP,
and sage and thyme and parsley in there,
and a splash of white wine vinegar,
and a whole mess of black pepper,
and a little bit of nootch.
i pressed two sourdough servings into one big one,
and let it re-rise in a buttered springform,
where i kept creepin' it up the edges,
making it deeper, and doper, every ten minutes or so.
on the bottom, i dropped in some shredded frisee,
and then added a whole mess of goodness.
herb-crsuted savory tofu and homemade vegan sausage is what i'm talkin' 'bout.
half a block of 'fu. cubed,
and one link of that sausage, sliced and quartered into skinny wedges,
all browned in herbs- i used poultry-style jauns,
but, you do you, though buddy.
i put peas and corn in there, too.
i mean, why not?
MORE flavor, MORE texture, MORE everything.
oh, c'mon.
you know why-
too much is the right amount.
and if i'm already gonna eat  five pounds of carbohydrates,
i may as well add some rough-hewn fiber to the mix, too.
do you like gravy?
of course you do.
i keep the fatty-boombattie gravy globs fairly straightforward.
i mean,
some things speak volumes in four words.
(not me, clearly)
y'gotta make a lot,
because it's an exxxtra-necessary component of a good pot pie.
rules is rules, man.
i make a roux first.
that's usually a 1:1 butter-flour blend.
i start there,
and add more flour, for especially thick vegan hottness.
hot melty butts, and a bunch of flour, heated until golden,
to which i add another 'nother punch of flour,
a cup or two of broth,
Garlic Powder and Onion Powder,
nootch(ritional yeast),
a splash of soy sauce,
and herbs, if i'm feeling crazy, but which i eschewed this time around,
as the pie was already taking care of that for me.
i poured half a cup of gravy all over all the filling once it was settled into the dough,
and then i baked it for 20 minutes.
it came out amazing.
i doused it in more gravy,
and i ate the whole mother-F*ing thing.
i doo-do that freaky sh!t.
today is the day.
after another excoriating, excruciating journey with crabtree,
i'll be jumping in the car (my g-dang rental, STILL)
and heading southwards, to the asscrack of 'chusets,
to swap dollars for daughters,
and get these kids back here to the woodsly goodness,
for a feast and a long weekend worth driving all damned day for.
we're gonna make it good.
we're gonna get it together.
we're gonna have a heck of a time.
that's what we do.
there's no spare minutes for weak sauce or watery diaperbabyishness.
there is only expert family togetherness,
and that is all we need for now;
never quiet, never soft.....

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