Wednesday, November 30


what happens when taco tuesday meets a pizza-every-day mindset?
i needed to know.
and that was the sentiment i was summoning
when i started tossing the dough for my dinner, duders.
i love mexican food, or my approximation of it, anyway.
and i realllly love pizza.
like, the most.
the natural progression, after the success of my supernachos last week,
was to combine more of the things i love into new things.
sorta like the way babies are made-
but, of course,
without any real chance of intercourse.
taco pizza is what i wanted,
and taco pizza is what i made.
check the andale'-type teleport:

kaBOOMFUEGO for your b-hole, bro!!!!
the crust is preposterously expert.
i'm serious.
2 cups of flour
1 1/4 cups of semolina
1 cup white-on white sourdough starter
1 T rapid-rising yeast
1 T salt
1 1/4 cup warm water
1 tsp sugar
kneaded up,
and punched down twice in the first two hours,
then allowed a second bulk for about 6 solid coldish hours in a row,
before beng refrigerated for an even colder proof,
and then divided, folded, and plastic-bagged in 4 servings of crucial doughy dopeness.
i don't even remember what day i did that on.
i just know it was last week.
i doo-doo that preparatory sh!t,
because pizza sometimes has to be a battlefield decision at just a moment's notice.
word up.
this particular pizza has a lot going on.
and that's good news,
because too much is the right amount.
 i went into it knowing i was going to do myself a digestive mischief,
and honestly, i regret not one bit of it.
refried beans form the base.
that's extra-oniony, GPOP'd, nootch-boosted, ho'sauvy custom pinto magic,
spread thick on the bottom,
and then,
there's daiya mozzarella shreds;
and then,
black beans;
and then, hand-cut daiya cheddar strips;
and then,
vegan roast, repurposed into a carnita asada explosion-
oregano, olive oil, smoked paprika, GPOP, cumin,
garlic, onions, and black pepper, with cayenne and fire-roasted tomato flakes,
seared and sizzled and stacked on top of those beans and chee'.....
and then,
the whole mess got covered in a smooth, well-simmered salsa picante!!;
and then,
cashew-garlic-tapioca & nootch queso sauce, blopped heavy on there;
with quartered grape tomatoes;
and pickled jalapenos;
and diced sweet onion.
damn, neighbors,
it felt good to pig out like a boss hog for the afternoon.
after baking it on a hot stone at 475F for almost 20 minutes,
for that slow-cooked thick-cut deep-heat dopeness,
i took it out, all double-bubblin' hot and chee'y;
and that's when i activated the upper-limits of flavor to their fullest-
scallion and cilantro sprankles!
tiny sweet red pepper ringlets,
and avo-F*ing-cado slices!!!
on the really real-
this pizza took my whole notion of delicious up another 'nother notch.
it weighed a ton, and now i do too.
i couldn't stop eating it.
i was full, i was satisfied, and i was relatively impressed with myself-
but rules is rules,
so i kept at it until i was fattishly destroyed, and totally uncomfortable.
heck yeah!
you know i HAD to.
i mean,
really, what was i gonna do?
save some for later?
no way.
i need all the pizza, all the time,
and that's exxxactly what i got.
thirty days of not-alright.
a month of miserable messy mush and mulch,
moping and making-do with doo-doo buttery doings.
what's that all about?
it's about the same sh!t, every year,
at the same dang time-
NOvember can go F* itself.
that is all;
never quiet, never soft.....

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