Saturday, November 26

NACHOOOOOOS!!

leftovers?
no.
i don't F* with those, really.
however,
i may occasionally be persuaded to repurpose
some previously appreciated delciousness into a whole 'nother
new piece of super hottness for dinnertime family enjoyment.
and that's for real.
for instance,
my heroic vegan roast?
i took a few slabs off of that, added oregano, smoked paprika,
lots of olive oil, soy sauce, GPOP, basil, coriander, and black pepper,
and asadafied that sh!t into a whole new realm of ethnicity.
word up,
why?
because vegan roast on it's own wasn't gonna work in our quick and dirty
family-style plate of big burly corn tortilla chip activation.
uh-huh.
that's right, my friends.
we had to tune up a whole panful of custom expert vegan nachos deluxxxe.
check the teleport:
OLE', OLE' OLE'-OLEEEEEEEEE'!
ha.
neighbors,
we love the nachos, we get mucho lucha libre on the nachos,
we chancho out like little piggies on the chips and dips
and we doo-doo all that as hard and as fast as we can.
real talk.
-a lotta melty-A* daiya chee' is essential.
-a little nootchy GPOP goo-wop glop don't hurt it, either.
(that's 1/4 cup nutritional yeast, 1/4 cup water or non-dairy milk,
2 T GPOP [1 of each] black pepper, and a splash of soy sauce,
heated until thickish and drizz'd on the chips)
-refried beans, with that exxtra-buttery sweet-onion and nootch-boosted goodness?
they make the glue that bonds the chips into bigger big bites.
that's dope.
-black beans! because black beans matter-
lightly seasoned with sriracha and garlic salt,
sauteed with onions, and removed from the pan just before they burst,
so they can save some pop for the oven, my loves.
nachos are F*ing rad, man.
i just wanna insert that sentiment for you to appreciate.
-the roast asada, because that's how we got started here in the first place;
-black olives, because like beans, they matter, too;
fire-roasted green chilis, to give it that oily smoothness, the mild spice,
the slippery slap of peppery taste that goes easy on the tongue,
and slides down so smoothly in every bite;
mmmm.
-scallion sprankles. for serious, bro-
rules is rules,
and spranks are what's up;
-quartrered sweet oblong baby grape tomatoes,
low in juice, heavy on fleshy tomato thickness, huge on taste;
-hot salsa drizzles make it work like it has an important job to do;
-and cilantro leaf sexxxiness ties the whole thing up in a neat green package.
too much is the right amount,
and more stuff means more nacho goodness for a more awesome experience.
that's how we like it around these parts.
we baked that big baby up in the oven, at around 380F
on the convection air-circulation circuit,
turning it twice to make it especially nicey-nice,
for something dumb,
like, more than 15 minutes i think.
but,
damn if we didn't terrorize that whole thing in less time than it took to make.
we prepare for a huge explosive savage shark-gluttonous feeding frenzy.
it's like dominoes, all that set-up,
to watch it drop quickly,
and then watch that set off an avalanche.
we don't just do it to it, dudes.
we overdo it.
that's our style.
so,
how do you do your nachos?
i hope you're ready to get at least that filthy with it.
if it isn't ridiculous, it isn't right.
and we all wanna get right, right?
right;
never quiet, never soft.....

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