Sunday, November 6


bonfire night.
flames and fuego,
and rule britannia for the better part of the evening.
that's a dang thing, dudes:
'remember, remember the 5th of november,
the gunpowder treason and plot,
i can think of no reason 
the gunpowder treason 
should ever be forgot.'
with guy fawkes being the gunpowdery plotter,
(albeit a regrettably broken-necked drawn-and-quartered failure at it)
and subsequently the starring facemask from V for Vendetta,
which since then has been used as a representative
for all the sweet smoochy anarchkisses blown out
to all the anonymous activists who think voting is dumb,
secrets are dumber
and that truth tellers should never ever ever stop-
that makes the guy, guy, an interesting fella in my eyes.
for some reason,
good-intentioned malice making a mediocre showing of it,
which in turn lives on as a lesson to the future
seems to be something i can intimately identify with-
hard styles abound, and i've never even tried to blow up parliament.
here's the thing.
famous failures are my soft spot.
and luckily,
something told me i HAD to save last year's sandwich week stencil,
and flip the script on some V for Vegan victuals.
i'm serious.
check the guido-johnson-type teleport:

i can't help but celebrate the things i like with treats.
it's some sort of genetic muscle memory, i guess.
my whole family has their little specialty foods for specialty days,
and i think i've inadvertently followed suit after my own fashion.
i can accept that,
since what i'm out here making isn't some skanky
chopped-dried-and-pressed dead-bodies sliced on a plate,
paired with chunks of spoiled milk type sh!t.
i'm just sayin',
antipasto grosses me out, dudes.
these cookies however, do the opposite of grossing me out.
in fact,
they've been enticing me IN for a little minute.
that's the stencil from last year, as i freely admit.
i mean,
there's always a 5 november, man.
but this time,
i made the cookies with ten times the chocolate.
and here's how it happened:
1 stick + 2T of butterish
4 T coconut oil
cup of sugar
2 tsp vanilla
^creamed and activated with 4 T non-dairy yogurt
2 1/4 cups a.p. flour
3/4 tsp salt
1/3 cup cocoa
1/2 bag miniature dark chocolate chips
ground chocolate bar (3 T)
- mixed, rested, and rolled out, post refrigeration,
in 3" circles, to chocolate-chip height thickness
(the chips define the level of roll, kids- it's perfect)
and baked at 380F for 11 minutes-
you get crispy edges, and softish centers,
and tone of chocolate flavor-
the little bit of exxxtra-salt really turns it up, too.
that's a thing.
i had chocolate frosting left over from chocolate creme pie,
so i filled a pair at a time with THAT,
and it turned the volume up even more on the loud fresh hardness for my face.
i doo-doo that overdo-doing it stuff.
rule is rules,
and reppin' on exxxtra-exxxtra only makes extra the standard level.
that's how you elevate and escalate, brother.
the fawkesy stencils serve only to take it to eleven.
because too much is the right amount,
and everything else is diaperbaby bullsh!t.
did i do the other other thing?
at the risk of igniting the forest, i did.
check the teleport:

i started it with cardboard, (my form of upcycling)
and ended it with wind-whipped savage storming mini-fires out among the leaves.
i did a little anti-ignition dance,
a.k.a the ember stomp,
to keep the neighbors' houses from joining the fun.
it was a stressful litle minute, as the woodsly goodness embraced
the furious flames with all their dry, husky mulls and heaped fuel sources.
the alternative was NOT to burn sh!t on bonfire night, though-
which is an awful lot like saying the other option
was to be a weak-A* prissy, prancing prattish bratty little nancypants.
....and i don't F* with that noise.
i did all the things-
i time traveled into the past;
i dwelled on it longer than i ever should've;
and now,
with a precognitive hourlong live-action delay on things,
perhaps i can predict a better course of action for future endeavors.
it's all really happening, faster and slower,
hotter and colder.
darker and darker and darkest-
november is a real d!ckturd,
but we're moving right on through it with very few delays;
never quiet, never soft.....

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