TRAIL BOSS!!!

cookies are delicious.
that's real.
and what about cookies with all the exxxtras?
THOSE ones are super-delicious.
and the best news i've heard all day is that i've got alllll the extras in my cookies-
which means that i'm reppin' super-delcioso sh!t to eleven over here.
yup.
dudes,
i got some weirdie trail mix,
and i used it to activate the new new hottness,
gluten-free, and molto fresh,
for you, and for me, and for everybody.
well, everybody who doesn't have a nut and/or chocolate allergy.
real talk.
there's all the bits and bobs in these b!tches,
and i think i may have created a problem for myself.
uh-huh.
i can't stop eating them!!!
check the teleport:
  
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
no wheat flour?
no worries.
they lost nothing for the absence of gluten.
in fact,
if you'd like to make them, and see for yourself,
here's how:
-
1 stick butts (8T)
1 cup sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp almond extract
1/2 cup coconut yogurt
1/4 cup maple syrup
-
1 cup brown rice flour
1 cup white rice flour
2 tsp bakey kapowder
1/2 cup almond meal
1/4 pkg fancy dark dark choco chips
almonds
pumpkin seeds
raisins
dried cranberries
peanuts
those last five ingredients, i found in prepackaged 3 oz serving,
and i used 3.5 of them.
so that's a lot of fillin' add-ons, for sure-
but,
the trail mixxxy goodness really activated the flavor,
and the texture,
and removed the gritty graininess of rice flour,
and kept the lack of real gluteny goodness from overpowering the overall bigger picture.
yum
i baked 'em divided into two dozen plus two cookies,
for 13 minutes at 375F.
and i pressed them down a bit post-bake,
as they didn't exactly melt on the baking sheet.
i think that added to the overall effect of gnarly hippie clusters.
y'feel me?
and what's up with that sugar-frosted almond icing?
well,
you know how i do it to it, duders-
too much is the right amount.
yeah.
powdered sugar, vanilla, and almond,
all together, and thick and pasty, for plastering a sweet cement on top,
enough to hold all those seasonally sweet leafy sprankles in place.
mmhmmm.
i like that.
so,
now you know.
and if you still don't believe it-
make 'em.
...and then i expect an apology.
word up.
***********
it's november 5, mutha-fawkesers-
and that means we're burning the whole place down.
rules is rules.
if you somehow don't know-
a.) search that sh!t.
b.)congratulations,
you're most likely an ugly american,
perhaps not physically,
but temperamentally, it's a near certainty.
oh,
and also,
yes,
i DID make treats for the occasion.
huh?
well, just what do you think i am?
an A*-hole?
maybe,
but i'm an A*-hole with tasty goodness from my oven to munch up on.
i can live with that;
never quiet, never soft.....