Tuesday, November 29


hey, neighbors,
sometimes, when you're in the heat of the moment,
in the heart of the house,
handling that b!tchin' kitchenly cookware,
you forget to rotate your stock!
sometimes i do, anyway.
...and that can leave you with odds and ends that beg to be used up,
instead of opening another 'nother 'nother other one, again.
y'feel me?
i found two partial tofu blocks in the refrigerator.
that's a bush-league laughable move, man.
first of all, who the eff doesn't tune-up a whole brick every time?
and then, to go right on ahead and do that same sh!t again?
i mean, once is bad, but again?
partial tofu consumption makes me feel inadequate.
for real-
too much is the right amount.
and instead of following the rules,
i've been over here responsibly portioning?
c'mon, dude, i should know better.
how did i amend this logistical error?
with DUMPS!!!
and kung pao tofu, too!!
that's right, it's soybean overload,
and i want you too know all about it...
check the teleport:

i wasn't even going to make dinner,
but i got home a bit early,
and i had a heaping piece-of-sh!t pizza for lunch,
so i needed a win in the supper segment of the night.
enter the tofu.
the big brick was cubed into 1/4 inch squares,
and sauteed in sesame oil with finely-diced onion and carrot,
with big slab garlic slices added after a little minute.
the sauce is what made it right, though, homies-
2 T soy sauce
2 T rice wine vinegar
1 tsp sugar
1 T sriracha
black pepper
ground mustard
red pepper flakes
1/2 tsp grated ginger
1 T cornstarch
5 T warm water
stirred and slurried, and poured over a batch of red chilis,
sweet baby bell peppers, peanuts, and celery, all right-angled and righteous,
with the added zing of cilantro and scallion after a minute.
the sauce gets thick, the heat gets lowered, and the pao-pao is paowerful.
and then,
there's those DUMPS ON YOUR FACE, ACE!
i covered dumplings in detail here.
check it out.
this time,
in addition to tofu, i also used garlic, onion, and kale,.
with GPOP, sesame seeds, and ginger,
with a dash of cayenne to activate some exxxtra-hottness
i like dumplings.
a lot.
and whenever i have 'em, i have a lot of 'em.
rules is rules,
and that's one i don't overlook.
in real life,
away from the skillets,
and absent the photography,
and disregarding all the overeating,
everything else is total bullsh!t.
crabtree's injury is still a source of infected angst,
and of inflamed irritation to the both of us.
my car?
remember that?
i crashed it over a month ago?
still not ready.
that's pretty cool.
and the insurance coverage of a rental is over and done with today-
in the bigger picture,
that's really a minor inconvenience,
it's heaped atop a month of rainy days off;
long bitter cold dog walks;
terrible appointments dominating each day's doings at work;
and no sleep at all since thanksgiving.
the all-encompassing mosaic is a frowning face,
composed entirely of jagged bits and bobs,
ragged and rough-hewn, sharp and sour,
and probably full of tetanus-
...at least i got that shot at the hospital,
sorry, but there won't be any lockjaw, at least.
y'wanna know why i always write about food?
because food produces reliable, uplifting, positive results
for realsies,
if it looks good, and it tastes good?
it IS good.
and guys,
on the ones,
good is good,
but bad is everything else.
everything else is everywhere else,
and all of it is really happening.
NOvember is on borrowed time, but holy crap,
it blew by in a grey blur of always-the-sameness.
and now,
this is it.
the last leg of a one-legged A*-kickin' contest.
i don't think that's how it is supposed to work;
never quiet, never soft.....

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