Saturday, November 19


coconut coffee cookies?
with dark chocolate chunks aplenty, of course.
that's right, neighbors-
anybody can have cookies,
we get to have that true cookie hottness all over our tongues!
...believe it.
i picked up some coffee emulsion,
and supposedly,
it's the turbo-improved super-elite level-eleven-style extract upgrade.
for realsies- it sure does taste like it.
i really enjoy a cookie, man,
i mean it.
those individual servings of portable potency genuinely make me psyched.
i'm just sayin'-
check the teleport:

bumpy coconut bits,
lumpy chocolate bricks,
smooooooth coffee crumb,
and icing to lift your spirits and your glycemic index to the sky.
i'm not trying to munch up on some budget cookies,
i want those luxury jauns,
and that's no joke.
you wanna make some of these mutha-'uckas?
here's how-
preheat that oven piece to 375F
in a medium mixing bowl,
1 stick butts (or 7 tsp cold coconut oil)
1 cup coconut sugar;
1 tsp vanilla;
1 1/2 tsp coffee emulsion;
1/2 tsp salt.
^smash that all together^
and add:
3/4 cup applesauce;
1 cup medium flake unsweetened coconut.
^whisk all that up as aerated and excellently as possible^
and toss in:
2 cups a.p. flour
1 1/2 tsp bakey kapowder
1 tsp b.s.
3 T instant coffee, or 1 T fresh-espresso-grind dark-roast beans.
1 pkg. chocolate chunxxx
^mash it into one big ol' batch of dough, yo^
you should get two dozen cookies out of it,
bake 'em for 13 minutes, and cool 'em on a rack, jack.
the dual icings?
that's essential to adhering to the house rules.
no icing would be fine.
one icing would be better.
too much is the right amount, however,
so y'gotta double up on the sexxxy sugars, or else, you're doing it wrong.
each begins with 1/2 cup powdered sugar, and 1/4 tsp vanilla,
but one got 1/2 tsp of that emulsion, too.
and then, it's just non-dairy milk in drips and drabs
until the sugar is more like thick plaster,
placed in a plastic nag with one corner cut ever so slightly,
and drizzled in a sweet little pattern on top.
i want the nicey-nice.
if i can't look at you, i definitely don't want to put you in my mouth.
that's the truth.
go make some of these.
they're delicious,
and they won't disappoint you.
saturday is here.
you know what that's like?
actually, it's basically identical to every other day.
enjoy your weekend, if that's a thing that happens in your life.
i'll be working, just like every day, just like always,
i'll also be terrorizing a handful of these cookies,
and i guess that'll have to do;
never quiet, never soft.....

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