Friday, November 25


damn, dudes,
i made allllll the good stuff,
from scratch, naturally,
and i hung tough, saw it through, started early, stayed late,
and generally performed like a champ.
the only real detriment of the day?
ampy-d's sh!tty replacement dog biting crabtree in the head,
causing a pretty messy, bloody puncture,
within the first (and last) five minutes of their arrival (departure)?
i invited amber to have vegan food with us.
yeah. that one.
new readers may not know about her,
but a quick and easy synopsis of our relationship is:
after three predictable years as the set-up,
it turned out she is actually really good at surprises.
i mean, c'mon.
it's thanksgiving, man.
nobody should have to nothin' but eat simple side dishes
because they're an expert vegan and not a dead-body devourer.
well, at any rate, the universe is cruel, neighbors,
and doesn't care for my desire for familiar familial feelings.
those very same sentiments lured and lulled my better judgement astray again,
allowing for another attempt at doo-doo buttery do-over doings-
this time,
the instant-karma correction was loud, fresh, hard, and fast, for sure.
it's fine, kinda.
crabby'll live, anyway,
with one more scar, and not one bit of a dampened spirit.
and that other one, the used-and-budget dog?
he clearly F*ing sucks,
and not one positive thought is headed his way from up here.
my decision-making might be that dog's cousin or something;
because it too clearly F*ing sucks.
kindness, nearly always,
is displayed in the sincere hope of productive human interactive kinship
and togetherness...
there was a whirlwind of one-sided chaos,
and a LOT of strong language centered on long-past grudges and grievances.
i won't be doing any of that again.
...moving on,
i made enough food for fifty people,
but it was just myself and my children at the big kid's table
after the blitzkrieg brindle canine crack-up...
the thing is-
check the second-piled-high-plateful-of-pure-power-type teleport:
holy sh!t!!
now that's what being a shark-gluttonous expert looks like, buddy.
after years and years of making cornbread dressing that nobody ate but me,
i got smart this year,
and used the leftover ends of a couple of sourdough loaves instead.
oatmeal and spelt splits for maxxximum taste and texture.
the result was a 11/10 award-winner:
look at that jaun!
everybody loved it.
i had my homemade elite sausages in there,
which certainly activated exxxtra goodness.
and leeks and carrots and celery and garlic,
with broth drizzled over all of that, before covering it and ovening it for 30.
but, still,
it was SO much doper due to the great bread bits,
and we all agreed this is the new hottness from now on.
mashed sweets?
with tempeh bacon, and caramelized shallots, and a lot of brown sugar!!!
mmmmmm. check it pregame-style:
we get it poppin' over here,
because we genuinely appreciate the overwhelming abundance
and powerful plentitude of plant-based big action
that we're all fortunate enough to enjoy in heroic quantities
...and there were soy-glazed brussels, of course.
harvest always insists on exxtra food at the last minute,
and me being an enthusiastic encourager of the house rules, usually complies.
cranberry sauce?
no, i don't use the poor-person jelly tube.
 that's not how i work my scene, bro.
i go whole freshie-fresh berries,
cider-simmered & vanilla-kissed.
brown sugar and maple syrup sweetened,
with a smooch of lemon to help 'em along.
no. really, look:
1 pkg. berries
1 cup cider
1 T vanilla
1 cup brown sugar
1 T lemon
1/4 cup syrup
that's it. cooked until the berries burst, and the combined pectin
of the juice and the pulp make a perfect compote.
get after it, it's good for you.
that roast, tho!!!
dudes, i made a red lentil-laced, tofu and seitan roast,
on the fly,
with a little sauteed onion and garlic,
simple poultry spices,
and wild-rice and corn stuffing inside.
that's real.
take a peek:
i'll have to do a separate post about this barbarian baby b!tch for certain.
it's SO dope.
suffice to say, we'll be having it again and again.
and those rainbow roasted root veggies?
butterish-patted, s&p'd and hit with an ample activation of GPOP,
they always please the crowd:
rainbow mini carrots;
red, blue, white, and yellow baby potatoes;
sweet potato;
purple and green  brussies;
red pearl onions.
covered and baked alongside everything else in my overffull oven,
and covered in gravy, afterwards.
thanksgiving is all about gravy, baby.
believe it.
are those sesame oil brushed, sesame seed sprankled jester squash rings?
you get they are.
easiest thing i made all day.
soy sauce dripped into sesame oil,
with seeds, on sliced sqaush rings with the mushy middles removed,
open-face baked in that same oven.
nicey-nice, and doubly delicious.
word up.
i really went all out.
cooking and baking all dang day,
making all the tasty bits,
and all the sweet treats,
with my kids riding shotgun alongside me, all day long,
as the kitchen hummed and buzzed with a life of it's own.
how could i be any luckier?
only in about a billion different ways.
objectivism prohibits the faking of reality in any manner whatsoever,
and it literally all is exactly what it is-
two full plates of all the best food,
with my two favorite people,
and my bloody battle-beast is more than i deserve,
so i'll consider the day a win, regardless.
even crabtree had a super-'sgusting bone for the holiday.
on the really real,
rules is rules,
and everybody gets a treat.
that's how we do it.
thanks for reading;
never quiet, never soft.....

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