2003.

on this day,
february second-
groundhog day-
in the year 2003,
with the help of my best friend in the whole entire world,
with no future, no goals, and no destiny.
-no joke-
i shed the last shreds of my old life,
and broke north like a runaway in search of freedom.
yep.
today is the day.
and it's coooold out there today.
(it's cold out there every day).
man,
if i'd had any idea what a runaway train i was getting on,
i might've thought twice before we packed my bag
(that's literally one bag to relocate with)
and took the chance on woodsly goodsly Folk Life & Liberty.
dang.
now,
many, many years later,
i'm definitely better at being me,
but at a cost that is waaaaaay over budget.
the project is running well past the projected schedule,
and all of this becomiing of a better version of myself
has taken me to the literal borders of good sense,
good times, good feelings,
and then,
far faster, and so much more easily,
crossed the line that takes you towards something else.
so,
here we are, guys.
2017.
old and busted,
broke and broken,
balder and bonier,
alone and lonely.
jeez.
that's a litany of losery sh!t.
i left all the people who'd been principals in the dramatic action
of the first quarter century of hard styles and heavy heads,
cutting a swath of swarthy trail straight ahead,
to a trough of tougher times and worse characters,
ummmm, yeah.
perhaps i was a bit hasty in my choice of destinations,
but,
i was on a trajectory to tragedy in the 203,
and a better fate than death awaits us anywhere-
that's some really real talk...
although,
a slow death through loss and labor is only barely better,
here's the thing, man-
all these years have not been spent idly.
and even the worst of them saw productivity and proficiency reach new peaks.
rules is rules, man.
and king among them is the prime dogmatic doctrine:
just be dope,
or F* right off.
yup.
we don't need to recap all the highs and lows.
suffice to say,
it's a rough and tumble mix of talent versus trial versus time.
neighbors,
it's ALL really happening,
for better of worse,
in sickness and in health,
like it or ready or not....
in that regard,
it's the only relationship that's remained committed.
awwww.
anyway,
i'm calling an audible.
today IS the day.
and not just another 'nother rehashing of the same day,
over and over and over.
heck, not even the same week, the same month, or the same year.
i want that new-new, and if it's not me out there gettin' it, then who?
real talk.
out amongst the rabble,
home among the rough and tumble bumblings of my battle-beast,
in the kitchen,
in the car,
over the hills and streams of this mountainous forest vale.
it hasn't been kind to me,
but i still love this place i immigrated to in hopes of carving out something
better for me and mine.
in some ways,
that's just what i've done.
but in many others,
there's still so much work to do.
there's no sense in waiting any longer.
i mean,
it's groundhog day.
what is there isn't a tomorrow?
there wasn't today.
y'know?
***********
in other news,
on wednesdays, i entertain the idea of entertaining.
i do.
and i did.
and it was pretty good.
my friend carlos came through,
and he helped me make some sandwiches.
i'd have liked to have made them prettier,
but, well,
sloppy is as sloppy does,
and vegan chili chee' should not considered a neat and tidy foodstuff.
i tried an even newer variation of a new idea, and it did NOT disappoint me.
check the teleport:

FOCACCIA SWEET POTATO CHILI CHEE'WICH!!!!
c'mon.
one peeled and boiled sweet potato, and one quarter of a small onion,
boiled, mashed, and stirred up with GPOP, black pepper,
ho'sauce, soy sauce, olive oil, chick pea flour (1/3 cup)
and arrow root (1/3 cup+)
you'll get a messy wet sticky paste,
but if you pan-fry it/
as it caramelizes, it firms up, and the seared edges of blackened sweetness
only serve to take the taste to eleven.
...really!
how soft and firm is that homemade focaccia?
dudes,
it's the new sarnie standard.
and with thick slab ill dill sandwich stacker pickles?
expert.
that chiffonaded kale added just the right touch of roughage to the mix,
and that fritter?
it was smooshy enough in the center to old all that spicy black bean chili in place.
word.
how easy is it to make chili quickly/
pretty easy.
try this on for size:
-
1/3 cup minced onion,
2 T diced jalapeno;
2 T poblano pepper;
olive oil;
2 cloves crushed garlic;
sauteed together until the onion is semi-translucent-
2 T malt vinegar to deglaze;
1 cup crushed tomatoes;
a dash of oregano;
smoked paprika, cayenne, coriander seed, black pepper;
cilantro leaf, GPOP, cumin,
plusa dash of ho'sauce,
another of soy sauce,
and a scant cup of black beans.
delicious.
let it simmer, and you'll be rewarded with the thickness, with relative quickness.
yeah.
-
so, there's a scoop of that,
and some homemade rapid-set vegan chee' sauce!!
make that i minutes, too:
-
1/2 cup non-dairy milk;
2 T butterish;
1/4 cup nutritional yeast;
GPOP;
ground mustard;
salt to taste (go easy);
2 T lemon juice or cider vinegar;
1 T flour;
1 tsp turmeric......
whisk that over med-high heat,
and i assure you it will thicken rapidly,
and repay your efforts with that bright sharp yellow gooey magic you crave.
DO IT!!
-
sandwiches on focaccia, man.
that's the big action.
i can't get enough of 'em.
so, you can imagine how glad i am that i still have 75% of that loaf remaining!
nice.
***********
today is the day.
just like every day, but with a slight increase in significance,
despite the drastic dearth of significant others.
ha. ha.
i do my dirt all by my lonely, homies.
and there's a method to my manliness,
and my move making, and my mindfulness....
i'm here.
right here.
still.
and i'm doing what needs doing.
before the day is done,
i'm gonna do even MORE.
too much is the right amount.
everything else is repetition without purpose;
never quiet, never soft.....