Sunday, February 26


you think you love pizza?
then are you ready for some new hottness?
i sure hope so,
because i've got the pashupatastra of pizza right here.
that's no joke.
you don't believe me?
prepare to have your doubts destroyed, dudes-
check the ever-lovin'-awesome-sauce-type teleport:

now that's some expert sh!t.
curried fuego for your face, friend.
it's what i've got poppin' off at the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
1/4 cup of crushed tomatoes,
stirred up with turmeric and cumin and coriander and crushed coconut?
F* yeah!
sriracha flakes cracked across the edge of the crust?
you know it, man.
and the rest of it?
it's the turbo-fresh-to-death dinnertime dopeness for your dome.
real talk.
another one of these slooooooow-proofed semolina semi-sourdoughs,
pressed flat in pan, for overloaded-topping performance enhancement.
with that curried crushed 'mato magic,
crushed coconut, and daiya mozzarella for the base.
so far, we're winning at pizza.
while the oven preheated to 490F,
i oiled, salted and peppered a whole potato, slice to >1/4" discs,
until they sizzled and crisped enough to be considered cooked-through.
a layer of those would take any pizza to eleven,
but we can't just stop there, can we?
no way, bruh-
rules is rules.
and MORE awesome is always a good idea.
there's red onion, and rings of fresh jalapeno, too.
but, and here's where we recognize the real-real,
which is to say: too much is the right amount-
there's also half a head of ho'sauce-activated exxxtra-sexxxy
caulifuegoflower on there, too!
that's oil AND butterish, a lttle bbit of each,
a dash of liquid smoke, a LOT of red hot sauce,
a bunch of sriracha,
a whole mess of paprika,
GPOP, obviously,
a lid and a hot pan..
spicy red florets of flame and fury will be the result.
you need some of that. you really really don't want to miss out.
i also hit it up with toasted cashews!
i know, right?
how much elite expertism can one pizza even contain??
too much, apparently.
and a good thing, too,
because i wasn't even in this frame of mind when i got home,
late, again,
and had no clue what i should try to whip up for myself.
events took a rooute i hadn't scouted ahead,
but i'm sure glad they did,
because this is one of those pizzas i'll reminisce about in the future.
fried garlic sprankles?
c'mon, kiddo-
OBviously they're on there.
that's a must.
and after the baking, (about 13 minutes or so later)
it got the double finisher-
scallion and cilantro spranx as well!!!
straight up, this one bangs hard.
i'll eat an everyday pizza in a pinch,
but i'll always pick the boomfire if it's available.
since i'm the only one here,
it's not as if i can balme anybody but myself if i lame out.
which in turn means i can't lame out.
which in it's own turn means that my pizza game is MOLTO strong.
who wins?
but also,
sometimes, when the oven is hot and the dough is stretched,
i get equal time in the winners' circle.
good pizza makes everything better.
great pizza takes that to the extreme.
if you aren't about MORE pizza, with bigger and better flavors,
then what the heck is the point of you?
pizza for life, my dudes.
that's the set i rep;
never quiet, never soft.....

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