Tuesday, February 28

MONTH'S END.

dudes,
i'm not exactly excited for march to get here.
i mean,
my version of march madness is more like the stark raving stuff
and not so much of the college basketball variety
on the ones,
if this calendar is about to flip again,
and march has trudged it's way up to tomorrow,
that means that 1/6 of 2017 is already over?!
that creates a little bit of a crazy feeling in my skullpiece, buddy.
for realsies.
i've got temporal fugue in my temples,
and in between there's this big ol' brain trying to make sense of this
madhouse month we've just endured.
february is finished.
this is it.
the last day is right here,
and while it's a short month,
i'll be honest, it FELT really long.
my days are very repetitive:
wake up, walk dog, feed dog, feed sourdough,
bake something, eat breakfast, write words, drink tea, take pictures,
walk dog, shower, run errands, run that tatt-game like a marathon,
come home, feed dog, make dinner, take pictures,
walk dog, exercise, read, fall asleep, repeat.
the thing of it is:
i can't stand it.
every day bleeds and blurs into the next,
punctuated only by whatever fresh new hottness is served up on my supper plate.
thank goodness for rock bloxxx.
what??!
haha.
yeah.
days fade to weeks and so on,
and while it's getting bright-bright-brighter outside every damned day,
there's plenty of darkness around these parts to overshadow,
throw shade,
and generally dim, cloud, obscure, and disguise these lightening days
with dismal mood lighting...
except when it comes to cookies.
yup.
that's real talk.
if you're in a bad mood after eating rock bloxxx?
congratulations,
you're a F*ing A*-hole.
check the teleport, then tell me if you think i'm wrong:

i mean, right?!
yeah!
DASSIT, DUDER!
these original recipe custom cookies are the TRUTH,
and if you've never had them?
make them.
immediately.
for real.
i made three kinds from one batch of basic dough,
and i doubt i could tell you which ones were the best ones.
(.....duh. they were all tied for first place, man)
let's begin with the ones that started it all, y'all:
*
rock bloxxx
-
1 stick vegan butts;
1 cup brow sugar;
1 tsp vanilla;
1/2 tsp salt;
as usual, you'll be creaming all of that,
unlike other times, you'll be stirring in 3/4 cup applesauce.
now,
add 2 cups of a.p. flour;
1/2 cup crushed coarse oat flour;
1/2 cup crushed unseetened flaky coconut;
2/3rds bag chocolate chips;
1 tsp baking powder;
1 tsp baking soda;
WORD.
roll out golf balls, press 'em flat,
and bake 'em at 375 for 13 minutes.
expert.
-
now,
let's get busy with the upgrades:
i made a dozen+ of the regulars,
and the divided the remaining dough.
to the first half, i added 1/4 cup of raspberry frosting
(from that sexxxy do-over cake);
2 T rasberry jam;
and another 'nother 1/4 cup of flour;
plus 1/4 cup chopped oats
(i used quick ones, to soak up the juiciness of that jammie-jam)
i covered them with melted chocolate post-bake.
i dunno why, exactly, other than it's in my infinite nature to overdo it.
and we all know that nature wins.
-
then,
because too much is the right amount,
and because i was getting a haircut from my homegirl,
who i like to deliver a little parcel of sweet gratitude to,
in recognition of her attempts to adjust my haircuts to my awful hairline,
i also fired up some coffee cookies!
yuuuuuup.
2 T instant coffee,
plus one tsp fresh-gorund espresso beans.
a little more oat flour was necessary, ust to bulk 'em up,
but it wasn't more than a handful,
for mouthful of magical coffee-style new hottness.
hmmm?
well,
yeah,
i added little powdered sugar stars.
so?
i still like cute sh!t, bruh.
don't sit there and judge me until you've made the cookies.
i mean it, mango-
i'm thinking you'll be a bit more lenient with my cutesy tendencies
once you've experienced the the magic and majesty of these mystical morsels.
i don't know what march has in store for us,
but i DO know that if it starts to suck,
i'll be making a TON more of these cookies;
never quiet, never soft.....

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