Wednesday, February 22


homemade super-sized ravs, in F*ing full effect?!?!
you'd best believe me when i tell your A*,
these big ol' roundies are the TRUE HEROES OF DINNERTIME.
real talk,
i had a sort of inspired explosion of motivated macaroni time,
and i knew i had to capitalize on it as quickly as i could.
in this case,
it was just as soon as i got in the door after work.
the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress started to rattle and hum with that
ravioli ravioli formuoli the very instant i got home.
you need the big ones.
that's right.
it's cool, i made the big ones.
oh c'mon.
you like it.
here's how the dough goes, again,
for those who've missed it the past few times:
quick pasta dough
1/2 cup semolina flour;
1/2 cup+ white all purpz flour;
2 T olive oil;
1/2 cup hot water.
easy easy EASY.
knead it up, let it rest, roll it thin, cut it out.
guys, listen, i had a plan from the jump-off,
and i worked it for all it was worth.
homemade vegan tofu-based cashew garlic (th)underchee'?!?
you bet your bottom biscuits that sh!t's in the mix.
how do we make that?
i've told you before, i'l tell you again:
tofu cashew-garlic chee'
1 block regular firm tofu (it's not that firm);
2-3 cloves roasted garlic, and the oil they're roasted in;
3 T olive oil;
black pepper, cayenne pepper, ground mustard, to taste;
1 T soy sauce;
1-2 T lemon juice;
1/4 cup nootch;
3/4 cup raw cashews.
you NEED a food processor for this stuff.
that's real.
i tried a new thing, too-
grinding the unsoaked cashews with the oil and lemon and spices and nootch,
until it was almost a butter,
before adding in the tofu and the soy sauce and the garlic.
the results?
200% improvement in texture.
no joke.
i  know you wanna see what's up.
check the molto-monstrous-pasta-pouch-type teleport:

RAVIOLISSIMO!!!! (probably not a word.)
they're so fat, and they're stuffed with al the best stuff!!
there's that chee', plus a few tablespoons of finely chopped daiya mozzarella,
and a small slab's worth of minced and seared seitan,
with 2 cups of shredded baby spinach cooked down to nearly nothin'
right along with it,
plus, a tablespoon or more of fire-roasted tomato sprankles, as well.
all of that, stirred together, had my whole face eagerly awaiting
the guaranteed fresh finished product right from the start.
i rolled out eight 3" ravioli.
yo keeping track?
that's two FEET of ravioli.
i done told you already-
...the big ones.
i had a serrated big'un punch, and i put it to work.
filling over dough, dough pinched over and around the filling,
and cut, sealing it together as it's chopped.
eight of those is a serious meal.
i wasn't worried,
and i wasn't about to leave any on the plate.
you stay until the thing is done.
rules is rules.
they got boiled in salty water until they floated up,
and tossed in a hot oily pan for a minute to give 'em a little exxxtra.
(be careful with this part, or they'll stick and rupture,
and then you'll have to hide those ones under the rest.
i'm not sayin', i'm just sayin'.)
flip those tasty buggers around in some sauce,
and pour some sauce down on a plate,
and get ready to lose your mind with happiness.
well, you can clearly see i added kale.
that's tuscan, bro.
no, really.
lacinato love is in the air, and kale goes great with sauce.
that's a fact.
i also dropped some torn basil on top,
as well as IN the sauce, right at the end,
and i activated the whole spread with fresh parsley sprankles, too.
i'm not the sort to skimp out on the green among all that red.
let's discuss that sauce.
it's pretty much complete expertism!!
i mean it.
here's how it unfolded:
1/4 red onion, minced;
1/2 small carrot shredded, and chopped, into the tiniest bits;
sauteed in a pot generously lubricated with olive oil.
when the onions are clarified,
1 large clove of crushed garlic,
and 2 T of red wine vinegar were added.
that let the carrot and the onion, and the garlic disintegrate in a tangy acid bath.
toss in 1/4 cup grape tomatoes,
and 1/2 cup chopped plum tomato,
and let 'em cook down with oregano, sage, dried basil, GPOP,
crushed red pepper flakes, black pepper, and a little rosemary.
when that gets a-sizzlin', pour in 3/4 cup crushed tomatoes,
and 1/2 cup seitan broth.
i hope you're saving that, it's so useful.
that simmered away on low heat the whole time i was in ravioli-town,
and it cooked down into a thick, rich, hearty, chunky batch of the best dang sauce
i've had for days.
and yeah, i olive-oiled and toasted up some sourdough.
y'think i'm about to let a stray drop of sauce go to waste?
what are you?
an A*-hole?
don't be dumb.
bread and pasta are sacred fraternal twins, they have to go together.
get right, bruh.
it's pretty nice outside today.
that's almost unfortunate,
given how much cooking i plan to do indoors.
in fact,
it's almost as unfortunate as this sunken mess of a cake:

that's really kind of sh!tty,
and a little embarrassing.
what happened?
upon a close inspection/excavation of that sinkhole,
i've concluded that a full 12oz of wet raspberry filling weighed down the center,
melted into the crumb, and pushed most of the batter to the edges.
i'll wager that wouldn't have happened in a rectangle.
the deep d of a springform was too intense to withstand that much big rasp'y action.
that's what happens when you're overconfident
about your tensile cakey strength first thing in the morning.
the good news?
i've now got a superb raspberry streusel for the next attempt.
how's that for optimism?
i'll be repping a do-over, with twice-baked raspberry goodness,
and i'm willing to wager that the next time, it's gonna be F*ing awesome.
make all the mistakes you want, friends-
just, maybe try to learn something from 'em,
so you don't make the same ones twice.
in baking, i've become adept at adaptation.
in life, those lessons elude me;
never quiet, never soft.....

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