Friday, February 10


the dire winter-werewolfen windwept woodsly goodness
is alive and alit with the fullest refractory moonbeans!
there's mountains of snow on top of the mountains,
and all of it is being pushed into piles by plows, 
and gathered into heaps in odd corners and against every obstacle 
by gusts and gales of that most reviled and despised element:
wind can go F* itself forever.
i don't want to be outside, snapping off my stretchy earlobes 
in the horrible chill of this blisteringly blustery, bitterly biting arctic blast.
the bright bright brightness is a little welcome, however,
as i'm struggling up to my thighs to drag my terrible terrier through
the trench-like trough i'm trudging out along the ruined route
of our two-way morning constitutional in the woods.
crabtree hates it as much as i do,
but he needs it, like it or not.
and as such, we do what needs doing,
kicking and screaming, griping and grumbling,
grudgingly trekking through this increasingly inclement,
seasonally-appropriate wild winter thunderdome.
it's really awfully cold and busted out there.
so much so that i had to get into some hearty-as-heck
warm-up-and-stick-to-your-bones-style foodstuffs.
check the winter-clapback-type teleport:

red lentil coconut curry is what warrior poets crave, kids.
true story.
onion and carrot,
sizzled up with two cloves of crushed garlic,
with cumin, coriander, black pepper, mustard seed, cayenne, thyme,
basil, Garlic Powder and Onion Powder,
salt, and smoked paprika activated in that hot oil-
when the aromatics turn up,
a cup of red lentils gets added in,
right after about five minutes of oily sauteeing.
give it a little minute for everything to get acquainted,
and pour in a can of full fat coconut milk,
and a half a cup of broth
to give it the juice to hydrate and explode those legumes
into a powerfully pure being experience.
when the lentils are all basically disintegrated,
a cup and a half of baby spinach will get your sorted out,
and well on your way to culinary satisfaction.
no foolin'.
steam or boil some jasmine rice,
and activate the whole big mess with jalapeno slices for crunchy fire.
scallions for that sharp zing,
fresh basil, because we know what's good,
and cilantro to cool your face off from that near-overdose of dopeness.
y'gotta do it.
y'gotta DO it.
...and what about that ginger-turmeric tofu?
it's pretty effin' expert, buddy.
for serious.
exxxtrasuperfirm cubes,
tossed in arrowroot, ginger, GPOP, and turmeric,
with a pinch of salt and pepper-
all to taste, obvi.
spread on parchment paper, and baked at 400F until they're firm as F*.
that's IT.
they go great with that squishy coconut stew, man.
try it, you'll see.
cayenne-coconut cauliflower?
jeez, neighbors,
what the heck am i on about over here?
i'm after the taste and the texture that triumphs over this A*-hole weather.
baked next to that tofu, for roughly 20? minutes,
tossed in oil, with cayenne, and coconut flakes,
and drizzled with a little sriracha, before it goes in there.
what do you get for that kind of creative concocting?
you get to feel like a genius wizard when you crunch into it.
that's no joke.
lime wedges got squeezed onto the entire plate.
every single portion of that pile of power was improved immensely
by a little of that green citrus juice.
and those cukes?
i think that those mandolined long slices on the minis are so kyoooooot.
and with a dash of microgreen ganish, and some of that lime?
just what the professor of tastiness prescribes for maxxximum enjoyment.
word up.
i can feel the pressure building up behind my eyes,
i can feel my pulse pounding under my skin,
my eyes are getting bigger the better to see you with,
despite the spotlight in the sky making these dilated pupils superfluous.
and are my teeth getting bigger?
i hope not.
these enameled tombstones are already disproportionately large and in charge.
here's the thing-
it's not precisely physiological that lycanthropic anthropomorphic lunacy
takes shape in the shapeshifting skin-shed of berserker barbarian battle-beastliness.
it feels like it does, only on the INside.
am i howling and prowling?
no way, bro.
it's terrible out there today.
and therein lies the truth of the thing.
i'll never ever be such a wild animal that i'll opt to run free in the wind.
it's bad enough i'm dragging the pup out for his exercise in this sh!t.
i can't imagine letting my distemper pull me out there again in the evening.
this wind is waaaay too sucky for that.
i've got a big, messy drafty den of a domicile to dwell in,
and ride out the moon's fullness along with this woeful weather.
it's all really happening,
but if i could opt out of it for a day or two
i'd already be long gone.
i'm so old now that responsible adulthood trumps abominable blizzard wizardry;
never quiet, never soft.....

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