Monday, February 27


made like a scone,
soft like a brownie,
decorated like a cake.
that's how it went down, dudes.
i made a little somethin' with chocolate on chocolate on chocolate,
and chocolate chips-
i wasn't one hundred percent sure what the results would be,
what i got was a nice little bit of sweet of brunchy dessert.
i mean,
i had 'em for breakfast,
i think they'd be better suited for a post-elevensies level-eleven indulgence.
check out the broken-flowers-type teleport:

hey, now-
i can freely admit when i'm making a mistake,
on purpose,
as it pertains to the gross overconsumption
that results from my gluttonous infinite nature.
i made 'em, and i ate 'em, and i can live with myself.
i'll be honest, i ate a LOT of these little brown biscuits.
they just slide down so smoothly.
there's lots of chocolate in there,
and that definitely didn't hurt the comestible come-hitherliness one bit.
y'know what else, man?
i wasn't sure what was gonna happen when i started adding things to the bowl.
i mean,
i kind of had some idea,
but i'm glad i still have plenty of room for pleasant surprises in mt kitchen.
i think you might enjoy these little guys,
so here's how it happened:
preheat your oven to 410F
in a big bowl,
cream together all the usual suspects:
1 cup brown sugar;
1 stick vegan butters;
1/2 tsp salt;
1 tsp vanilla;
add in 3 cups flour;
2 tsp baking kapowder;
1 tsp bakey soda;
1/4 cup tapioca;
1/3 cup cocoa;
1 cup+/- chocolate chips (i had bits of big and small sizes, and used both);
cut that all together, too, so the sugary-butts are all lumpily combined-
and then add:
3/4 cup vegan yogurt;
1/4 cup non-dairy milk-
gently blend that, so it's a little baby bit sticky,
and then fold it up, turn it, and do the ame again and again,
until the whole thing is uniformly brown and mixed.
press the dough down flat on a floured surface,
about 1/2-3/4" thick,
and start cutting out shapes, or even just cutting out triangles or squares,
or whatever lovely, sconely shapes you prefer....
reform the remainders and scraps and cutaways,
and repeat until it's all used up.
how many will you end up with?
well, neighbors, that is going to depend on what shapes, and sizes, you decide to do.
bake them on a cookie sheet for twenty minutes,
and you'll have something super-elite to treat yourself with.
if you're impatient,
or lazy,
or just plain ol' not-that-dope,
they're done.
if you know about what's really real,
and how to make good things better,
then it's time to let them cool off,
so we can get to work on making them expert.
word up.
melted chocolate, with a splash of vanilla,
a bit of a bigger splash of soymilk,
and a little powdered sugar, heated up on low heat until it's all smooth,
with a little stirring to help it along,
and you've got some ganache-style drizzles to add to the party.
that is a damned good start.
too much is the right amount-
which is why i fired up a quick rough chocolate frosting, too.
what's in that frosting?
powdered sugar, vegan butter, cocoa, vanilla, and soymilk.
how much?
who knows.
some of this, less of that, etc.
it worked, which is what's important.
i find myself making stuff more and more and more often.
to the extent that it's become kind of an expense.
not like a break-the-bank high-cost problem, exactly....
more like a takes up all my time and is noticeably using more funds
than it used to.
and for what?
just so i can impress myself with a sexxy dinner,
and eat two or more peoples' worth of it?
i mean,
i 'd like to think i'm worth the effort,
but it gets a little old showing off for just myself,
i'm not likely to stop any time soon,
not at all,
i mean,
doing less is not invited to my party.
of course, apparently neither is anybody else.
what i NEED is some other other sh!t going on as well.
all work and food and dog ownership is not enough of a life, kids.
it's better than some folks deserve,
but it's only a fraction of what i WANT.
how are we going to fix it?
i dunno.
but the hermit scene has run it's course,
and as spring approaches,
the rest of this Folk Life needs some drastic and intense attention.
it's all bound to unfold along the creases of this well-worn comic tragedy,
written in bold archetypeface,
with italicized anecdotes,
and stubbed-toe footnotes.
it's all really happening,
and while that's the whole point,
i sure do hope it's not the ONLY point;
never quiet, never soft.....

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