Wednesday, February 1


happy february.
this is IT!!
the first day,
the big action,
the new hottness,
the change-of-page on the calendar,
and it's all really happening.
in fact,
there's so much happening,
i haven't had a minute to settle down and tell you about it.
everything is in the oven that needs to be at the moment,
and i'd like to take this time to assure i said the magic words.
the magic words, neighbors.
when the clock strikes tomorrow o'clock,
or you wake up and at 'em and it's the first of the month?
the mystic mantra of cultivated coincidence and benevolent fortune-
c'mon, man.
i know you said it too-
rabbit! rabbit!
i spit it out at midnight,
i spat it again when i awoke at 3 a.m.,
and for good measure,
i reiterated the polysyllabic lagomorphic mantra one more time
when i got out of bed at 5.
too much is the right amount,
and i'd rather overdo it than anything else.
that said,
one whole month has flown by blurrily at breakneck velocity-\
and now, we're here,
in february,
getting into more of all that we love and hate;
desire and abhor;
chase and run from;
the whole shootin' match,
the big picture,
the entirety of real life-
we're in it.
it's all really happening.
i suppose we should probably get going, then, huh?
i sent january into the past with a pretty tasty oatmeal cookie.
i wanted to make fluffy, layered biscuits,
but the oven had other plans.
ah, well, such is life, friends.
when you don't use recipes, you can't guarantee what you're gonna get.
word up.
what i got tasted great, and looked okay, too.
don't believe me?
hang on,
i'll show you what i mean...
check the teleport::

because i loooooove oatmeal, stoopid.
i had a cup of whole oats, like, the little torpedo-shaped unrolled seeds,
soaking in 3/4 cup coconut yogurt, lemon juice, and soymilk, for 24 hours.
it softened 'em up quite a bit, but the stayed chewy,
which added a seriously toothsome texture to my concoction.
that's real.
there's also a 1/2 cup of brown sugar;
1 stick of vegan butter;
1 1/2 cups flour;
1/2 tsp salt;
1 cup coarse oat flour;
1/2 cup rolled oats;
2 tsp bakey powpow;
1 tsp baking soda;
all of which was cut into itself like biscuit dough,
before the wet oat porridge was put into play.
that's a LOT of oats,
and it's a lot of awesome, too.
the dough was folded, scone-style,
until it was all blended into one soft, semi-sticky mass,
which i hand-flattened to 3/4" thickness,
and cut out all those adorable 3" hearts.
to cook 'em up, y'just so a little oven activation:
400F, twenty minutes, done.
in retrospect, i might've dropped the heat a smidge,
like 360ish,
and maybe baked them for 25 minutes,
to get a thicker, less dissolved shape.
ah, who am i kidding?
that's the last time i'm making these.
they're delicious,
but they're not a riotous success, so i'm moving on.
that's how it goes.
happy february, anyway.
it's B/H/M, for those of you who are aware that those lives matter,
and have since those sailboats brought a bunch of folks
who'd most likely have preferred NOT to come here over for some hard-styled
enforced pro-bono manual laboring.
my point is,
don't be a racist A-hole,
and don't ask idiot questions, like: when is white history month?
that's ugly.
don't be a d!ckface, man.
listen to good rap music.
it'll improve your day;
never quiet, never soft.....

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