Saturday, February 11


homemade ravioli!!!
that's what i talked about allllll day.
clients were showing me reference photos of what they wanted,
i was reciprocating with internet photos of ravioli.
no joke.
pasta is kind of my stumbling block.
i mean it.
it's ok, i guess,
but it's just not that photogenic.
i think my natural resistance to embracing the majority of my genetic code
keeps me from fully realizing my potential pastabilities-
that pervasively italian DNA-
the same stuff that invited pattern baldness and regrettable body hair to the party-
to which i have an instinctive recalcitrance,
is the nature against which i continually fight.
that's real, kids.
(let us not forget, however, that inevitably, nature wins)
i'm just sayin',
maybe macaroni is the most beautiful thing in the whole wide world,
but the corneas i'm using only see the unseemly side of that sh!t.
hey, take it easy.
i'm spending time this february effing with my italian menu.
i mentioned that in an earlier post, and i meant it.
i'm conquering my bias, bro.
that's a good idea in all things.
becoming a better version of yourself,
and making a better version of your supper at the same time?
well, now, ain't THAT some sh!t?
in the interests of self-and-mealtime improvement,
i made some ravioli last night.
yeah, homemade sorcery and homemade sauce!
ummmm, what?
you wanna know if were they any good?
c'mon, what are you?
an A-hole?
they were flippin' expert!
check the bacciagalupe-type teleport:

i'm out here doing it;
i'm over here gittin' it;
i'm all up in this b!tch,
and i'm 'bout that ravioli for real.
how awesome are pasta dumplings?
SO awesome.
and could the dough be any simpler?
not really.
it goes like this:
1/2 cup flour;
1/2 cup semolina flour;
4 tsp olive oil;
1/3 cup +/- warm water.
knead knead knead, and rest before you roll it out.
on the ones, dudes, that's pretty straightforward.
rolled out thin, on a well floured surface,
and you should be ready to get rad on some ravs.
i used a 1 1/2" circle cutter, and i crimped 'em closed with a fork.
next time,
i may use a serrated sexifier.
i couldn't tell you where i the heck i even put mine at the moment.
they were such a just right bit, it was like i was baby bear, buddy.
and the filling??
simplicity in itself, but structurally super-solid.
sweet potato, boiled with a little onion. (i used half of a small example of each)
mashed with shredded spinach, olive oil, black pepper, salt, and GPOP.
the teentsiest-weentsiest scoople in the center of those small circles was all you need.
neighbors, i made nearly thirty or so of them, quicker than quick,
and i gotta tell you-
they went down smooth.
i was finished with the whole batch before i knew it.
(and i still have about half the filling taunting me from the fridge)
RAVS, man.
i'm glad for that.
my clients weren't sure i could hook it up.
i appreciate their lack of faith in my culinary skills,
although it makes me wonder how discerning
their tattoo artist selection criteria may be...
here's the thing-
without a bangin' sauce, these would've only been awesome,
and not turbo-elite.
the sauce situation was high-pressure, but low-stress.
if only because my muscle memory is hardwired to heroically hurtle tomatoes
into untold heights of hottness.
real talk.
chunks of tomato are what make this stuff so interesting.
there's the smooth tomato, and the chunky stuff,
as well as all the spice, and a touch of heat,
just to keep you on your toes.
olive oil and 1/4 minced onion,
sizzlin' away until it's soft, and almost changing color.
that's when you dump in oregano, basil, crushed red pepper flakes,
GPOP, sage, and a little pulverized bay leaf.
the oil activates the herbs, kids.
that's the foundation for the nicey-nice in your mouth.
when that all gets toasty (and it does that quickly)
drop in one large diced fresh tomato,
and watch that sh!t crackle and pop in the hot oil.
a 1/2 cup of crushed tomato,
and a 1/4 cup of hot water,
a pinch of sugar and a dash of salt,
and that'll cook itself silly in no time flat.
turn the heat down to medium-low, though.
burnt tomato sauce is for suckers.
now, here's where we turn the whole thing into a new and improved thing-
a few tablspoons of fresh parsley, and half that sauce, in a bowl,
tossed with the ravioli.
wait a minute-
how did we cook the ravioli?
they're pasta, bruh.
we boiled 'em, in very salty water, until the floated to the top,
half a batch at a time, for a few minutes per batch.
those steamy, starchy circles were SO ready to soak up the sauce!!!
spread the other half of the sauce on the bottom of our serving bowl,
and drop the ravs in on top, sexy side up.
we're almost there, friends.
crunch is what's missing most in a bowl of boiled beige-
so, there's chiffonaded radicchio shreds in there, too.
and the note that needs to sing out is some soprano italiano,
and not sotto voce either-
that's where the fresh baby basil sprigs shine through.
and lastly,
just because too much is the right amount-
grilled leeks!
that char and the subtle mellow onion flavor made me sorta sad
that i devoured all of it in record time.
i could've beaten up another 'nother half batch-
mostly because i'm gluttonous, but also because that stuff was molto delicious.
what italian meal is worth a crap if there isn't bread
rules is rules.
that's a slice of my homemade sourdough in there,
pan-toasted with olive oil.
any stray sauce didn't stand a chance.
set your sights on something.
i don't care what.
for me, it's interjecting more italian influence onto my table.
for you, it can be whatever.
stay focused,
keep your eyes on the target,
and shoot to kill.
get it centered in your scope,
keep the crosshairs of the reticle level,
check for windage,
take a breath,
and take 'em down.
2017 is the year for killin' it;
never quiet, never soft.....

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