Monday, February 13


do you guys even know what a bang bang IS?
i'll explain it again,
for the benefit of anybody new to the competitive shark-gluttony game.
first off,
shark gluttony is the foremost premier flagship of gluttony.
that's a thing.
anybody can be a fat and lazy boorish boar or sow at the trough.
that's that all-you-can-eat buffet entry-level poor person gluttony.
and that's bush league amateur sh!t.
.....laughable, man.
on the real,
if you're serious about attaining the elitist expert top-tier jaun,
you've gotta model yourself after the most intelligent of designs.
i'm on that SHARK gluttony.
a finely-tuned terror at the table,
seeking and destroying like a guided-missile-tined fork-and-knife torpedo,
created for one purpose:
to munch up at all times, at all costs, forever.
THAT'S omega, my dudes.
sharks know how to doo-doo that freaky sh!t,
and they're my mealtime inspiration:
don't stop moving, don't stop eating.
big bites, swallow, repeat.
now that we're all caught up,
allow me to explain the bang bang.
first, you have a meal.
and then,
immediately afterwards, you have a whole other 'nother other meal.
it's one of my most favorite ways to work.
i mean,
too much is the right amount.
you know it's true.
obviously, i'm about to tell you about a little bang bang activation-
that's the whole point of all that lexicon clarification.
now that you're up to speed,
check out phase one-

holy smokes, these were no jokes.
it's been snowing for a whole week,
and that calls out for all the hot soup to get inside my body.
five ingredients in the dough:
1/2 cup semolina flour;
1/2 cup white flour;
2 T olive oil;
>1/2 cup warm water...
knead, need/want, rest.
roll out thin, and cut into 2" circles
i've covered all  of this recently.
feel free to backtrack,
because we're moving forward.
but how about that broth?
it's the business, for sure.
olive oil and one large cubed tomato,
blistered and wilted and softened,
before a splash of red wine vinegar,
and a hearty shake of salt,
and lots of GPOP got their act together.
2 cups of clear veggie stock to thin out all that juicy 'mato pulp,
and suddenly,
you're lookin' at a tasty little bath for those torties.
i let my folded pasta pouches dry a bit on the counter.
i mean,
nobody likes it when they've exploded,
and a little minute to seal ad set is well worth the investment.
i even added some fire-roasted tomato flakes to the soup,
to turn up the taste a notch, while i was waiting.
the insides of those tortellini had it rockin', too.
mashed potato and red beans, onion, arugula, olive oil, and parsley,
with a dash of liquid smoke, and plenty of nutritional yeast-
that's a cheesy pesto that tastes the besto!
the trick is not to overfill those F*ers,
which goes against my infinite nature so strongly
that i had to make MORE of them to balance the forces that drive me.
rules is rules, buddy.
well, yeah...
those soy-glazed fried brussels sprouts were excellent companions
to that terrific tomato taste.
i love it when my food gets along.
i kept 'em halved, instead of quartered in a surprise bit of foresight,
while i was preparing all of the big bangs for my mouth,.
more on that in a minute.
parsley is always an excellent choice when italianizing anything.
it's sort of like guido-glitter, i guess.
fresh basil leaves put the paisano power to it, too.
i'm not out here trying to have lame food.
what do you think i am?
some kind of an A*-hole?
don't be dumb.
i even fired on some exxxtra fire-roasted tomato sprankles,
because i like to see my food lookin' fancy.
ugly food is for suckers.
wordimus prime.
there's still MORE.
that whole time, the oven was preheating to a ferocious 490F.
you know what THAT means, right?
hell yeah!
the TRUTH is coming atcha like a disc of domination.
check the second half explosion-

oh man!
i love pizza sooooooo much.
and this one has alllllll the flavor.
crushed tomato, daiya mozzarella, sourdough semolina crust.
dope dope dope.
with those brussies bangin' on the system like guerilla flavor activists,
(quartered, not halved, but prepped simultaneously. y'see?)
blackened leeks for that necessary oniony element.
i hate a pizza sans onions, dudes.
that's a thing.
fried garlic sprankles,
OBVI, since that's how i put the signature on my circles.
and then, last but not least by any means,
white balsamic marinated, nootch-boosted walnuts.
think that's dope?
you may just get a handle on some of this shark-gluttony yet, kiddo.
for real, though, broski-
walnuts, white balsamic, nutritional yeast,
tossed around in a pan on medium heat, until the vinegar is absorbed,
and those warm nuts are smellin' SO fine...
crack some black pepper on those bad boys,
and you are now successfully indulging in primordial earth elemental druid sh!t.
i dunno, but it tastes like that's what's happening.
the bang bang is good for you.
i do it more than once a week.
try it out if you think you're ready.
it might be your new thing.
i've got a narrow path to my door,
cut into a six foot pile of snow and ice.
that's about all there is.
the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress is well and truly buried,
and the fluffy feet of snow on top of the roof haven't fallen into the walkway yet.
that'll be fun to try to fit somewhere.
there's NO room,
and the whole of my woodsly realm is bowed boughs and deep drifts,
everywhere i look,
and anywhere i might've taken crabtree to exercise.
we'll have our work cut out for us, today,
and if i know this area,
the plow guys, state and town and local,
will work in concert to keep a steady mound of heavy horrid brown sludge
at both mouths of my driveway.
can't wait.
a snow day used to mean anything could happen.
it just means the same series of stuff is gonna unfold along well-worn
dog-eared, creased and ceaseless recipes for inconvenience.
it's ALL really happening, all the time-
if you need me,
i'll be burning off that bang bang outside;
never quiet, never soft.....

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