Thursday, February 9


y'gotta retrace your steps if you want to know how you got lost.
that's what i was telling myself yesterday,
as i fumbled around in the kitchen looking for ingredients that interested me.
i've had a little bit of a stumbling stutter in my stovetop creativity this week-
partly from lack of sleep,
and partly from the demands of the increasingly busy business
of the winter windfall work-up in the tattoo world.
oh, yes, indeed, duders-
up here in the woodsly goodness,
home to a preponderance of will-nots,
and it follows thus that they then also be a horde of have-nots-
february and march mark the start of a little rush on the tattzap market-
income tax returns are coming in hot,
and poor people will never invest that reimbursement into any legitimate
efforts towards improving their futures.
no way, jose.
rules is rules,
and 'free' money was made to be spent.
luckily for me,
i'm just the kind guy to snag up on those movie checks as they fall free
from the holes they've burnt through pockets unused to that much fire,
trust me, kids.
sleepless or rested,
i'm not about to squander and splurge on the surge of impulsive urges.
i'm much more likely to go bananas in the produce section,
and put those groceries to good use...
the thing of it is-
i'm fresh out of inspiration.
or, more accurately,
whatever secret universal fount or well that i draw from
is less readily available when i'm distracted and spread thin.
so, what did i do about it?
i took a tried-and-true good idea,
and i gave it a makeover.
instead of torturing myself over inventing something brand spankin' new,
i went back to a place i know well,
and F*ed around with making it even better.
sandwiches are dope.
banh mi sandwiches are even doper.
and homemade everything super-elite banh mi sandwiches are expert.
that's the truth.
i'm glad i did what i did,
because it gave me just what i needed.
check the teleport:

the bread?
impossibly soft.
how? why? what?
i got a little rowdy with the dough.
i think that's what did it-
1/3 cup non-dairy milk;
1 tsp sugar;
2/3 cup warm water;
1 T bread machine yeast (the refrigerated stuff)
^ bloom that into full effective activity-
and add it to:
2+ cups flour;
1 T olive oil;
2 T vegan butters;
1 tsp salt.
my stand mixer is a true hero, and she beat that baby up, util the gluten chains were on point.
i let it rise about 30,
and cut it, shaped it into three long banh mi buns,
and put those in the fridge for a few hours.
when it was about that time,
i slit 'em, and let 'em rise at room temperature,
while the oven preheated to 410F.
twentyish minutes (might've been 18) and they're flippin' perfect.
good bread makes better people,
and better people make better sandwiches.
it's cause and effect, buddy.
when the bread was cool, i cut it, buttered it, and pan-toasted both inner sides.
the top and bottom got a glob of good ol' vegenaise, too.
top AND bottom.
too much is the right amount.
that's pure wu-TANG.
check the list of stacks on stacks of luscious veggie hottness i have on that jaun:
paper-thin long-sliced cucumber, folded up first.
shaved red onion rings next, for crunch.
lime-kissed shredded cabbage, radicchio, and basil-
simple salad sh!t gotta do what it do,
and what it does is be a great textural addition,
as well as a very clear note in each bite.
F* pate, bruhbruh.
you want that tasty squish without pureed organs?
me too!
MY squish comes from those 'cados, and my squish is delish.
the tofu? short-cut thin slabs of grated-lime-and-ginger'd,
arrowroot-with-GPOP-dusted fried up freshness for your face.
damn, a good tofu crispness can make or break a bangin' banh banh.
these had all the best aspects of seared tofu steaks in full effect.
lucky lucky.
from there, y'gotta stack up some slightly-salty, semi-sweet,
rice wine vinegar pickled carrots and radishes.
that's a necessary component.
with those vinegar notes, your sarnie never gets it's vinegar strokes.
real talk.
jalapeno slices are there.
i like the way they taste, i like the way they look,
and i like to like things, so whenever i do, which is rarely,.
i doo-doo that freaky sh!t to the fullest.
don't be dumb.
i used stalks.
aesthetically it looked sexxxy.
and ugly food isn't on my agenda.
sriracha finished the picture,
the final keystone block in a well-built stronghold of taste.
well, yeah.
those pickle spears add a lot to each bite.
that's the idea, dudes.
i went to where i know my way around,
and i came up with a few new routes to enjoyment.
i think that was a good idea in the long run.
giving ground to gain traction is one way to get ready for a big leap into the future.
it's ALL really happening these days.
work and more work.
crabtree's suicidal indigestion.
art. (yup)
and this.
thank you for reading.
i hope you get something worth a sh!t from what i do;
never quiet, never soft.....

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