Friday, February 3


apple treats are expert.
that's a fact.
i got a buddy who goes bananas for apples,
and once in a while, 
as a special treat, 
i make something especially appley, 
just because i know he'll be really psyched.
this time around, i went after some apple crisp, crumble, and pie,
all at the same time.
take a gander at what i came up with:
deep dish oatmeal cookie crumble crusted,
chunky apple-cinnamon-stuffed,
cinnamon-swirl and pastry-braid-topped new hottness!!!!!
i'll let you guys in on a secret-
that's the first time i actually braided anything ever in my life!
i had help from a lovely assistant.
circumstances being as they are,
i do my dirt by my lonely these days,
and needs are needs, and rules is rules.
now when i need braids, i gotta make braids.
...and i did.
10 apples, peeled and coarsely chopped,
stewed in 1/3 cup brown sugar,
2 T cinnamon;
2 T butter;
1 T coconut oil;
2 tsp vanilla;
and 1 handful of whole thick oats-
cooked on medium heat with a dash of salt, 
a squirt of lemon,
and we have ourselves some slightly pre-softened filling,
ready to cool off and get nvolved.
the pastry dough is the standard:
12! T butterish;
3-4 T creamchee';
a punch of sugar;
a dash of salt;
2 cups of flour;
a squirt of vanilla;
and enough non-dairy milk to let it get just barley clumpy.
it only has to be wet enogh to hold together when you squeeze it.
that's right.
i use a food processor to blend it up, and it works great.
chill that stuff out for at least an hour, longer is better,
and roll it evenly, thinly, and gently, cutting rectangles from the result.
fill it wth the good-good:
1/2 cup brown sugar;
3 T vegan butts;
1 tsp cinnamon;
1/2 tsp vanilla.
mashed, squished, and spread across 95% of each rectangle.
roll it up, moisten that 5% flap, and seal it shut.
put that in the fridge and let that buttery brown sugar firm back up,
then cut 1/4" discs for the top of our pie!
(i only used half of the dough, for the record)
the bottom is super simple.
brown sugar;
quick oats;
slow oats;
melted butterish;
eyeball it.
you need enough cover the bottom of a pan, 
in this case, a 9" square,
and creep halfway up the sides, too.
mold that to your base,
dump in your cooled apples,
and decorate the top.
get creative.
you've got this.
check it:
the oven was piping away at 425F.
this little gem baked away from 25 minutes,
rendering a perfectly bubbly, buttery, flaky, sweet, cinnamony, 
righteous right-angled rectangle of real food done really well.
i'm not bragging, i'm just sayin'.
remember that time?
i've never had a conversation that started like that 
ever be about a time i did something good.
the telephone-game distortion of recollecting, recounting, and retelling of
tall tales, paraphrased and out of context seems to regularly relegate me
to the realm of a juggernaut berserker of brazen blowhard belligerence.
and here's the thing, friends-
i'm almost always at home, 
whenever i'm not out walking crabtree,
grocery shopping, or at the tattoo studio-
there are very few new memories being made by those made-up minds
telling partially made-up stories about a third-party performance by yours truly.
i said some things, i did some things, and i can live with that.
i have a hard time, however, 
feeling very good about the events of days long past being the definitive 
biography of the worthier warrior poetry of the present day.
hermitage has that as it's main drawback.
being a better version of myself requires me to span a LOT of time by myself.
-reflection, introspection, and perspective come from that vantage pint-
that makes the devilish dervish of yesteryear the default last point of reference
for who i am and where i'm at.
turns out,
there aren't a lot of readers in this region,
let alone blog followers.
a half a decade of real life, unfolding, expanding, 
refined, honed and heartfelt....
all documented and recorded, has gone mostly unnoticed.
and now,
it's usually just a bunch of recipes.
remember that time?
yeah, i do.
i never forget.
and i never stop moving.
it's all still really happening,
and it feels a little like one of those bands that have thirty more albums 
after the one you used to listen to.
yo now the one-
you see they have a new song on iTunes,
and you say:
they still make music?
they kept doing what they do, possibly even getting better at it-
and nobody noticed or cared;
never quiet, never soft.....

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