Tuesday, April 9



shoutouts to april 8th.
the day before, it was magnificently springtime freshie-fresh-
sunny and warm and bright.....
the weather up here in the woodsly goodness is unpredictable.
one minute, it's calm, light, lively, and lovely....
the next it's a sh!t-hot mess of hard-styles, harsh skies, deep darkness,
and dour, sour, powerlessness.
no wonder i love livin' here.
that's a compatible temperament and temperature combination.
what's happening?
i'm cold.
i took a bath.
like, in the bathtub in my bathroom.
wait for it:
.....with a bathbomb.
neighbors, i swear to gosh that's true.
i even fired up a few small tealights.
look- i have seen enough internet content suggesting that's the right way to do it.
so i did it like that.
i turned on a space heater for more hottness,
and i soaked in that damned dumb tub for about five minutes.
guys. guys. GUYS.
F* that bath sh!t.
i was instantly cold and wet and not psyched.
for real.
i'm too long and lanky and weird shaped for that floor-level bucket of water.
it was green from the fizzy bomber,
i was also cold from the ambient atmosphere where the rest of my body didn't fit,
and that little heater circulated the air to make it colder anywhere
that wasn't gettin' blown on by that metal mouthbreather.
it just wasn't what i'd hoped.
i'm gonna give it a 3/10, and that 3 is only because the candles were scented.
it'll be another ten years before i dunk in a vat of my own soup.
i worked, of course.
people always need tattoos when the weather sucks.
it's a north country tradition, it seems.
so i did my thing over there, too.
that was warmer and more rewarding than the bath, but barely.
crabtree was pretty annoying, too.
because he can sense frustration, and he is NOT helpful in those scenarios.
some people say their dogs snuggle them when they're sad.
not mine, bro.
he turns up the bastardism to eleven and runs around chewing stuff and whining
and generally doing his part to distract me from what's bothering me
by bothering me in all new ways.
so thanks, little terrible terrier.
in your own uncomfortable way, you're trying;
never quiet, never soft.....

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