Thursday, April 18


and you know i got into some dough last night.
that's right.
y'boi whipped up another 'nother expert rendition of a fancy pizza.
that pee eye zee zee ayy was poppin' off from the jump-
big luscious doughy dopeness,
hearty, heavy-duty manly marinara,
mushrooms, onions, tomatoes, and basil all interacting with some of that 
so delicious dairy-free mozzarella chee'- MINCED, obvi; 
because that's how you do it right, dumdum- so do it right, like a smartie boi.
check the herb-activated gourmet sh!t right here:
when it comes to pizza, the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress is the spot that's hot.
i mean, do you SEE that crust?
it was righteous!
in your stand up mixer with that heavy dough-hooker hittin', 
1 cup warm water;
2 T maple syrup;
1 pkg fast actin' yeast;
2 T fire-roasted tomato flakes.
give that 5 minutes, then add:
1 cup king arthur all-purpose flour;
1 cup + 2 T bread flour;
2 T olive oil;
1 1/2 tsp pink salt;
1/2 tsp ea GPOP;
2 T nootch;
cracked black pepper.
knead it up and keep in mind that it's a wet dough initially-
but after 11 minutes, it'll get good and gluteny 
and strand-bonded and smooth af.
man, it's good stuff.
covered and risen up all sorts of puffy and nice...
i always stretch it out with some olive oil on my super-seasoned steel tray,
which i will forever bake on my toasty stone at 485 convection fahrenheit degrees...
did i add nootch and GPOP and fiery tomato sprankles?
before i freaked it off with that marinara manliness.
AND did i get it activated with fried garlic sprankles??
rules is rules...
the onions were caramelized.
the mushrooms were slimelessly dry-fried.
the tomatoes were juicy.
all that is just great.
pizza makes me feel better.
and when you leaf it up with that fresh basil???
F* yes!
i ate it all, y'all.
too much is the right amount.
and i went hard on the shark-gluttony.
just eat more pizza.
that's the moral of the story.
it's thai thursday.
so i'mma need to get busy with some spicy noods, dudes.
for sure.
meanwhile, i've got mayan/aztec tattoos to do,
i've got a little baby girl who still hasn't even made any overtures towards 
her big debut outside of the box,
and i've got this damned dumb dog to walk.
he's F*ing fired.
his deaf A* slept through some loud bangin' against the Fortress last night.
no. i mean it.
i thought i had some personal space invaders trying to get IN here-
i heard the bang-bangin' around the house-
and crabtree just snorrrrrrrred.
meanwhile i jumped up and grabbed a pistol,
and immediately ran towards the noise.
am i an A*-hole?
also, it was a BEAR.
like, the animal.
i would never ever shoot a bear.
i only had that lil 9mm on me, which is inadequate for that in any event.
i got those vegan gunz, boi.
but, they're for defending the woodsly goodness and my beautiful family
from human invaders who probably aren't vegan.
really, i'm saving more animals by taking those dudes out.
that's not real.
but crabby is absolutely 100% comfort eagle,
and 0% guardian of the north.
don't worry about getting bitten by that bummer bull terrier;
never quiet, never soft.....

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