Wednesday, April 10

TWENTYEIGHT

i made it!
no.
for real.
yesterday was a snow day,
and a bummer day,
and a no-nothin' day.
but it was also a painting day.
yeah.
what do you do when you aren't doing what you thought you'd be doing?
i'm genuinely curious.
i am so definitely derailed when a plan or purpose is abruptly ended.
i get lost in my thoughts, and stilled in my progress.
it's like an involuntary pause button gets pressed.
so, i do what i'd do if i didn't know what i was missin'.
i mean, i DO know.
but i can only do dwell in the swamps for a little minute-
otherwise, i'll be stuck in those depths for a season or three.
it's happened before, and it's NOT invited to my days and nights.
instead,
i stay busy doing things that occupy my hands and my head,
while my feelings and my fears and my hopes all falter and fail to some degree.
ummmm.....is that positive?
man, i have no idea,
but if i can't work out what's wrong,
and i can't work on the problem,
then all that's left is to work through it.
the key ingredient is work.
i have to, or i'm done for.
what's my point?
beats me.
i was just trying to tell you that i painted some MORE skulls.
yeah.
i wasn't making money.
i wasn't making tattoos.
but i was making SOMEthing.
check it:

number twenty eight.
dirty.
darkish.
dreary.
that's my dude.
spoiler alert.
i finished my whole stack of wooden circles yesterday.
yeah.
i'm gonna pace myself with over the next couple of days,
revealing the last couple.
it's just more of the same, of course.
that's me, isn't it?
a lot of the same sh!t, every day.
i think these circles look a lot better in person.
i think i'm more enjoyable in person, too.
these are just words and pictures,
but in person, they're so much more.
i finished the project, for now.
i spanned the day the best i could.
i solved nothing, i cured nothing, but i didn't DO nothing.
that's the best i had, and sometimes, that's the best it's gonna be;
never quiet, never soft.....

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