Monday, June 5


coconut and blueberries.
they're friends with each other.
i'm friends with both of them, too.
so, if you can't hang out with them,
you can't hang out with me either.
sorry, dudes, but rules is rules,
and friends take sides,
so you're hanging with all of us,
or none of us.
.....that's a thing.
and right now,
the thing is blueberry upside-down coconut cake.
and that's where all three of us friends are hangin' out,
and waitin' for y'all to get on board or get outta town.
i'd reallllllly recommend you try a slice before you decide to leave us alone.
i'm fairly confident you'll be surprised at what you feel about coconut,
and blueberry,
and me,
after the first bite melts into your synapses
and stimulates sense receptors you didn't even know you had.
there's only one way to find out if that's true...
here's the thing, neighbors-
before i get into all the day's baking,
i have to be honest with myself, and in turn, with you:
i'm running molto low on creativity.
no foolin'.
i make and bake a whole lotta everything;
and now,
hundreds and hundreds of treats and eats later,
i'm feeling a little used up.
it happens from time to time,
and when it does, i dig deeply into my tastebud archives,
and pull out some flavors i know might shock me back into full red-alert treat mode.
i was shocked at how much i like this cake,
but that was then, bro,
and now,
i'm in a grey, rainy haze, wondering just what the eff i should make next.
real talk.
in the meantime,
i DO have this mutha-'ucking moist and fluffy fresh-baked big action to munch up on.
check the bloobs-and-c'nuts-type teleport:

normally i kind of hate surprises,
but this?
this was a pleasant and most welcome one.
it has ALL the purpleberry fruit hottness,
ALL the coconutty buttery good stuff,
and also,
ALL of the most superlative softness.
like, SO soft. and SO tender, and SO nicey-nice for my face.
y'want the  blueprints?
yes, pf course you do.
i'll show you the plans, ok?
it's like this, that, and this:
preheat your oven to 350
in a medium bowl, cream up:
1 stick (8T) plant-based butter;
1/2 cup organic cane sugar;
1/2 cup demerara sugar;
2 tsp vanilla;
1/2 tsp salt;
add in, and stir well:
1/2 cup coarse-ground unsweetened coconut;
1/2 cup medium flake  unsweetened coconut;
3/4 cup non-dairy yogurt;
then. whip in the dry ingredients:
2 cups flour;
1/3 cup tapioca flour;
2 tsp bakey kapow;
1 tsp bakey soda;
and finally, stir in, and aerate with a vigorous spatula-spinning wrist tornado:
1 cup non-dairy milk.
what do you get if you've done it right?
you get a springy, spongy, airy, light and tight coconut exxxplosion for your face.
and that's expert.
that's not all there is to it.
before you bake it, for 35-45 minutes
you've got to grease up your pan, and add 1 1/2 cups of frozen bloobs to the bottom.
it's upside-down, bro.
i also sneaked a few teaspoons of powdered sugar on 'em,
because too much is always the right amount.
that's right.
i also prefer a single layer springform situation.
i feel less fat and filthy tuning up a prime-level cake.
it's a cheap psychological trick i play on myself,
but, it works, so i work it for all it's worth.
once that massive magical medallion is cool,
and flipped-over,
(it's STILL upside-down, duders)
it's time to decorate.
now, i would like to mention that frosting and i have a very turbulent relationship.
no joke.
i don't want to measure anything.
but, the results can be preposterously unpredictable when i don't.
oh, well, i rolled the dice this time, and came up a winner.
fortune favors the bold far more often than frosting does.
believe that.
but, that's coconut creamchee' frosting,
and then, coconut-freeze-dried blueberry-laced creamchee' frosting, too.
it's < 3 T butterish to every cup of powdered sugar,
plus, almost 2 T of non-dairy creamchee',
which really just faciliatates the need to use less 'milk,
as it's no binder, but more of  heavy semi-liquid.
a little.
but, with a splash of 'milk, and a few tablespoons of finely-pulverized coconut,
and when the powdered freeze-dried berries are added?
expert exxxplosive flavor combining is one hundred percent happening right away.
enjoy this cake.
it's the right side of the coin to call, for sure.
i have a whole bunch of tattoos to do again today.
just like every day, really.
it's not as if i'm sitting around,
but it sure does feel like i'm standing still.
i wonder, often, if this is IT.
i really hope not,
but i kind of think so.
how do you sync up those two opposing ends,
so that the solution set is closed, and positive?
i sure as sh!t have no idea,
so in the meantime,
it's back on track, and nose to the grindstone, and so on and so forth.
there's work to do,
and there aren't any jobs that are actually lousy,
just lousy people who believe they're too good to do them.
it's all really happening.
that's a fact.
i'm glad i've got the time and the energy to complete the tasks i volunteer for;
now i'd like a little MORE to do a little MORE to have a little MORE.
i haven't had enough yet, and i'm ready to go bigger, and louder,
and faster, and fresher, and harder-
too much is the right amount.
i mean that from the bottom of the forged-iron furnace where my heart beats;
never quiet, never soft.....

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